Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Slaying Dragons
My job is bec
oming a monstrous stress factory. Every day I dread having to make that walk down the long employee entrance hallway into the mall. I suppose it would be difficult for anyone to go to work each day wondering what new insult the management will give to whomever the management feels is "stupid". Employee morale is low, and, I fear, that if management doesn't improve these conditions, the management will find itself without employees. Soon.
I am currently enrolled for a class on Saturday for substitute teaching, after which I will apply at one of the local school districts. I hope all goes well with this, as it will mean an immense change in not only my self-esteem, but also my pocketbook. For my prayerminded readers, this is a prayer request: that all will go well in acquiring my new career. (I can use all the prayer I can get).
I do want to pat myself on the back as I have made some immense leaps in my life of late. I have never been an extremely "responsible" person, or so members of my family might think, and rightly so. I tend to be flighty and impulsive and somewhat of a spendthrift. But, in the last few years I have learned a little about cutting corners (some of them) and about appreciating my flightiness as not necessarily negative, putting it to good use. My biggest challenge has always been the ability to accrue savings, which is still a difficult thing to do. However, because of Karim, and perhaps because I have "grown up" a little in the last four years, I have been able to make savings enough to buy one car, finance another and pay a very old bill that has been a black cloud over my life for fifteen years. One that has stopped me from progressing in my professional life. Paying that bill, (and having the ability to purchase the car, even if it was not an expensive one), has given me the realization that I can achieve even more. Now that the bill is finished, I can move on with my life, which is why I'm trying for the "sub" position. This will get me out of this awful job in retail and will enable me to make more money and pay some other "bills" that are weighing heavily on me.
So, until I am a substitute teacher, I must continue to drag myself to Anna's daily.
Perhaps if I think of each trial as an adventure, it won't be as difficult. Maybe, if I view work as a den of dragons that must be vanquished and the only way to do it is to brandish my sword of silent wisdom, then I can get through each day without feeling miserable. If I could but see every moment through my window of hope, knowing that "this, too, shall pass", each and every tense minute will be a little less tense, every annoying issue will be a little less annoying, and I will live all my life, even during the burdensome times, with a smile.
oming a monstrous stress factory. Every day I dread having to make that walk down the long employee entrance hallway into the mall. I suppose it would be difficult for anyone to go to work each day wondering what new insult the management will give to whomever the management feels is "stupid". Employee morale is low, and, I fear, that if management doesn't improve these conditions, the management will find itself without employees. Soon.I am currently enrolled for a class on Saturday for substitute teaching, after which I will apply at one of the local school districts. I hope all goes well with this, as it will mean an immense change in not only my self-esteem, but also my pocketbook. For my prayerminded readers, this is a prayer request: that all will go well in acquiring my new career. (I can use all the prayer I can get).
I do want to pat myself on the back as I have made some immense leaps in my life of late. I have never been an extremely "responsible" person, or so members of my family might think, and rightly so. I tend to be flighty and impulsive and somewhat of a spendthrift. But, in the last few years I have learned a little about cutting corners (some of them) and about appreciating my flightiness as not necessarily negative, putting it to good use. My biggest challenge has always been the ability to accrue savings, which is still a difficult thing to do. However, because of Karim, and perhaps because I have "grown up" a little in the last four years, I have been able to make savings enough to buy one car, finance another and pay a very old bill that has been a black cloud over my life for fifteen years. One that has stopped me from progressing in my professional life. Paying that bill, (and having the ability to purchase the car, even if it was not an expensive one), has given me the realization that I can achieve even more. Now that the bill is finished, I can move on with my life, which is why I'm trying for the "sub" position. This will get me out of this awful job in retail and will enable me to make more money and pay some other "bills" that are weighing heavily on me.
So, until I am a substitute teacher, I must continue to drag myself to Anna's daily.
Perhaps if I think of each trial as an adventure, it won't be as difficult. Maybe, if I view work as a den of dragons that must be vanquished and the only way to do it is to brandish my sword of silent wisdom, then I can get through each day without feeling miserable. If I could but see every moment through my window of hope, knowing that "this, too, shall pass", each and every tense minute will be a little less tense, every annoying issue will be a little less annoying, and I will live all my life, even during the burdensome times, with a smile.
