Saturday, January 21, 2006
Catch a Falling Star *or* It's MY Mess, and I'll Clean it Myself, Thank You
There are moments in our lives when we feel as though we've failed, and that 
nothing can ever come of what a mess we've made of ourselves. But, messes can always be cleaned. It just takes a little patience and one sticky pile at a time, we can undo the mess and organize ourselves once again. Today was an organizational day for me. You may recall that I told you last week that I'd "paid a bill" that was hanging over me. Today, I was able to move forward in my life because of paying that bill. For some, my little step forward may not seem like much, but from my standpoint, on top of all the piles that I've made in my life, all my messes, it is a huge leap forward. Today, I became a CERTIFIED substitute teacher.
There was a time that I didn't think I'd ever be able to work any other occupation except retail or food and beverage service,(no offense to those who ENJOY retail or waiting tables...I don't), neither of which require the kind of skills I was trained to perform. I figured that because I quit school that close to getting a degree, (four and a half years in University), I would always fall short of success. Yes, I agree that teaching in Alex was quite successful, but I still held on to that nagging notion that I was not as "good" as the certified, degreed teachers. Because of not having a degree, I have often felt that I am less of a person, and not worthy of certain modes of employment. Karim, on the other hand, has seen my value, and has boosted me up on so many occasions. If it weren't for him, I would never have come to this point. He has seen gold where all I've seen is dust.
So, today, I got my certification to be a substitute teacher in a local school system, and for now that is degree enough. Someday, I WILL finish that degree and become a certified, full-time teacher, because I don't plan to stop until I get there, but until then, I'm satisfied with this piece of my dream, and I can sit back and relax for a moment, enjoying the cleanness of one mess that is not longer vexing me.
nothing can ever come of what a mess we've made of ourselves. But, messes can always be cleaned. It just takes a little patience and one sticky pile at a time, we can undo the mess and organize ourselves once again. Today was an organizational day for me. You may recall that I told you last week that I'd "paid a bill" that was hanging over me. Today, I was able to move forward in my life because of paying that bill. For some, my little step forward may not seem like much, but from my standpoint, on top of all the piles that I've made in my life, all my messes, it is a huge leap forward. Today, I became a CERTIFIED substitute teacher. There was a time that I didn't think I'd ever be able to work any other occupation except retail or food and beverage service,(no offense to those who ENJOY retail or waiting tables...I don't), neither of which require the kind of skills I was trained to perform. I figured that because I quit school that close to getting a degree, (four and a half years in University), I would always fall short of success. Yes, I agree that teaching in Alex was quite successful, but I still held on to that nagging notion that I was not as "good" as the certified, degreed teachers. Because of not having a degree, I have often felt that I am less of a person, and not worthy of certain modes of employment. Karim, on the other hand, has seen my value, and has boosted me up on so many occasions. If it weren't for him, I would never have come to this point. He has seen gold where all I've seen is dust.
So, today, I got my certification to be a substitute teacher in a local school system, and for now that is degree enough. Someday, I WILL finish that degree and become a certified, full-time teacher, because I don't plan to stop until I get there, but until then, I'm satisfied with this piece of my dream, and I can sit back and relax for a moment, enjoying the cleanness of one mess that is not longer vexing me.
