Saturday, October 22, 2005
Loose Thinking
I started a new project this evening, and I'm rather proud of myself at this moment. Even though my accomplishment may not seem like much to the computer literate with loads of fancy artwork and word processing software, it is a huge techno-step for me. (I am one of the least computer literate persons I know.) Tonight, I put together a notebook to hold my current journal using only the Word program. I played with the pictures and the word art and came up with a clever design (at least I think so) and title. I have called this journal "Loose Thinking...Vagrant snippets from the runaway mind of Denise Hassan". I had purchased one of those inexpensive binders that allows you to slip a paper into a clear pocket at the front so that you can "decorate, name and personalize" your "homework" assignments. I printed up my fancy new page, slid it into place and then printed up a binder "title" insert, so that now I have my own personal journal.
Why couldn't these things have been possible when I was in high school so many centuries ago?
Journaling has been quite a life-saver for me. Oftentimes there are no outlets for my emotions or my thoughts, and it's difficult for someone like me not to talk. I have few friends outside of Karim's and my families, I don't really have much of a desire to share my personal life with coworkers, and sometimes I feel guilty burdening Karim with my "issues" when he has enough to worry about on his own. Therefore, writing about things seems a good alternative to talking. The added advantage to journaling is that it seems to pull things out of my head that haven't been seen in a long time; things that need to be faced. Writing about these things heals them in many ways and has lessened the pain of other, more difficult situations in my life. Journaling has made it easier for me to openly admit things that I normally would have denied within myself.
People who blog understand what I'm talking about. There's something about seeing your inner thoughts on a page, written or typed, that really makes a difference. It's like an emotional anti-biotic. It allows your brain to produce more thought on a given issue and to analyze yourself; to give yourself a new "vision" of who you are, why you are, and where you are. In this way you can eliminate those negative things you don't want and keep the positive things you do.
If you have never kept a journal, I challenge you to do so. Give it thirty days, and I can pretty much guarantee that your life will be a lot different-- Especially when you go back and read each day's entries. When you write, be honest with yourself. Don't "hide" things because you are afraid others will read them. Get them out of you rather than letting them fester inside of you and infect you. Write every day. Even if all you can muster is..."today sucked!" You'll be surprised at how good it feels to write even that.
