Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Nov. 21st to 26th
21st Nov.
I am really enjoying this new life that has found me and I am more in love with Karim than ever. He is my life! My teacher, my friend, my love,my father, my bosom buddy. I enjoy our pleasant conversation most of all. He is very intelligent and always seems to know what he is talking about. He can contradict me without making me feel stupid and I value that highly.
We are planning to rent a place in his mother's building (10th floor) soon & we will have our rings on Saturday. I am anxious for my decree to get here so that we can be married...(I hadn't yet received final divorce papers from my ex-husband.)
Nov. 25th
I have at last met the famous Dina. She came unannounced to this home in Hanovil and I think her intentions were half curiosity, half malice. She left me with words that I think she intended to be painful and long enduring--"He will always love me!" But she is young and very naive and she doesn't realize that I am completely aware of that. My life and experiences have taught me that one never loses a love completely. There will always be a place for her in Karim's heart, just as B--will always have in mine--just as snow and mountains at Christmastime will burn in mine--I understand her pain, but she will allow herself bitterness and anger. I feel sorry for her because of that. I pray she will get on with life--insha'Allah!
Nov. 26th
Sometimes I miss my kids so much that I wonder what the hell is wrong with me! But other times I am okay and perfectly contented in my life with Karim. I am okay when I keep myself occupied.
I am SLOWLY getting to a place with God. I talk to him now and again. I feel that he has told me that my pain is my punishment and that I will have this in my heart till I die. But life will be okay here. I pray that I do not become old and cranky for missing my children--they are so innocent and sweet, and hard as I try I can't help but torture myself with their memory.
I am really enjoying this new life that has found me and I am more in love with Karim than ever. He is my life! My teacher, my friend, my love,my father, my bosom buddy. I enjoy our pleasant conversation most of all. He is very intelligent and always seems to know what he is talking about. He can contradict me without making me feel stupid and I value that highly.
We are planning to rent a place in his mother's building (10th floor) soon & we will have our rings on Saturday. I am anxious for my decree to get here so that we can be married...(I hadn't yet received final divorce papers from my ex-husband.)
Nov. 25th
I have at last met the famous Dina. She came unannounced to this home in Hanovil and I think her intentions were half curiosity, half malice. She left me with words that I think she intended to be painful and long enduring--"He will always love me!" But she is young and very naive and she doesn't realize that I am completely aware of that. My life and experiences have taught me that one never loses a love completely. There will always be a place for her in Karim's heart, just as B--will always have in mine--just as snow and mountains at Christmastime will burn in mine--I understand her pain, but she will allow herself bitterness and anger. I feel sorry for her because of that. I pray she will get on with life--insha'Allah!
Nov. 26th
Sometimes I miss my kids so much that I wonder what the hell is wrong with me! But other times I am okay and perfectly contented in my life with Karim. I am okay when I keep myself occupied.
I am SLOWLY getting to a place with God. I talk to him now and again. I feel that he has told me that my pain is my punishment and that I will have this in my heart till I die. But life will be okay here. I pray that I do not become old and cranky for missing my children--they are so innocent and sweet, and hard as I try I can't help but torture myself with their memory.
