Friday, May 20, 2005
Blood-sucking Monsters from Hell
I sit straight up, wide-awake, startled and slightly...annoyed. I scramble from the bed in an effort to get away, horrified, wishing I were anywhere else but here at this particular time. However, it isn't a nasty nightmare that has me scrambling from my bed in the middle of the night, nor is it the monsters under the bed (I tamed those long ago). No, this monster is much smaller and far more irritating than anyone you could possibly sleep with. Fleas. Disgusted, I dial my husband at the front desk and gripe at him, nagging him to make sure the owner KNOWS about it before morning..."oh, and by the way, honey, tell him our shower curtain is a hanging mould collection as well." It is my sincere wish that since he (the owner) knows I am already displeased with this place, that he will feel embarrassed to put me through further trauma. But, I doubt it. He hates me. He put the fleas there on purpose. I just know it. And the mould.
One article lists alternate names of "the flea", one of which has caught my eye as being especially interesting. Siphonaptera. Yep. Those little suckers siphon the blood right out of a piece of flesh just like Bubba sipping the hose in the gas tank, only Bubba has a purpose. The only purpose a flea has for doing such an awful thing, in my opinion, is because it is designed to provoke. Indeed, I am provoked, and scratching furiously--mostly from the psychological standpoint. * shudder*. This really is a flea-bag hotel after all. God only knows what else we will find down the road: Furry, little creatures scuttling around in our underwear drawer? Large, clicking cucarachas seeping out of the bathtub drain? The guy that stole the four pairs of Karim's underwear from the laundry hiding in our closet?
Alas, this is what it has come to. Bugs. Little ones with large teeth. I think that perhaps in my madness, the only possible solution would be to collect all the darling little creatures into a jar and (*oops*) spill them through the window of the owner's BMW!
Suck, little Siphonaptera, suck! BWAAAHAAAHAAAHAAAHAAA!!!
One article lists alternate names of "the flea", one of which has caught my eye as being especially interesting. Siphonaptera. Yep. Those little suckers siphon the blood right out of a piece of flesh just like Bubba sipping the hose in the gas tank, only Bubba has a purpose. The only purpose a flea has for doing such an awful thing, in my opinion, is because it is designed to provoke. Indeed, I am provoked, and scratching furiously--mostly from the psychological standpoint. * shudder*. This really is a flea-bag hotel after all. God only knows what else we will find down the road: Furry, little creatures scuttling around in our underwear drawer? Large, clicking cucarachas seeping out of the bathtub drain? The guy that stole the four pairs of Karim's underwear from the laundry hiding in our closet?
Alas, this is what it has come to. Bugs. Little ones with large teeth. I think that perhaps in my madness, the only possible solution would be to collect all the darling little creatures into a jar and (*oops*) spill them through the window of the owner's BMW!
Suck, little Siphonaptera, suck! BWAAAHAAAHAAAHAAAHAAA!!!
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