Thursday, April 28, 2005
Searching for the Self
One day I decided to write my memoirs. I was in Egypt back to this time from almost two years, but in the beginning I was very interested to write about the feelings in the very deep part of myself. I know it sounds very difficult to understand, even for me!!! I got to the point where the person reacts and responds to the changing points in his or her life. Personally, I started thinking on these things after I read a book called "SEARCHING FOR THE SELF". This book was written by President Saddat. He was the president of Egypt back to the 70's and early 80's until he was assassinated in 1983. What I want to say is that this book was behind what I say now or at least what was the beginning of my thinking in this way. What changing points can effect our life? and How? and why? The first changing point for me was after the graduation from the University which was the real, practical life. Here is one of the changing points I am talking about; from being a student who didn't care about life, hanging around with girls and having fun with friends on a daily basis to being a real responsible man!! It is not hard but still considered change. Another changing point in life, like losing someone you really love (like a family member or a lover because you broke up or because of death), is how the person reacts deep inside the self. What kind of conversation goes on inside ourselves when we just learn that we have lost some one we really love. It happens with friends and lovers, but the thing is that sometimes it is nobody's fault. It is just that destiny wants us to go through that. First, I said to myself that this is what God wants, but how am I going to deal with the life without that person I have lost? Everything in this life comes with training. Yes, training! Just try to remember the best moments I spent with this person and practice the life without him/her. Not only this, but imagine this person sometimes with me and take the good things from the previous experience with this person and try to do it in my daily life. In this way only, we will never ever feel that we have lost someone. Moving from the Middle East to America and living in the American Society is also another changing point because everything is different and that is the meaning of culture shock. Reacting and dealing is the most important thing because there is a new way of thinking; a completely different mind set... new law... everything new. I might sound crazy, like I said in the beginning of my words, but I believe it is true like I believe my name is Karim. Dealing with the psychological part in the Human being is the most difficult thing to understand, but if you tried to dive deep inside yourself you will get the abandoned treasure.
