just thinkin'

My Boat Story

2007-01-21T19:42:00.000-08:00

I have been doing a lot of inner work lately because of issues I'm dealing with in my life, and in my search for the "me-ness" of my life, I have come up with a story that outlines one of my issues; not that I wish to "air my problems". I would, however, like to share things that may, in the long run help others while I'm learning to help myself. Okay, my boat story...

There was once a beautiful calm lake where many boats lived, surrounded by a peaceful wood in the mountains. Storms would come once in a while to this lovely place, as they do to any place, but not very often, and certainly not very rough. Most of the time, the sun was shining and the wind was gentle there. When the storms would come, however, all the boats would gather together on the dock and keep each other company, swapping fish stories and dreams of the sea until the bad weather passed and life got on as usual.
There was one little boat, that although the other boats would be calm and seemingly contented, would complain unceasingly about the storm and worry about sinking. "I hope I don't take on water, oh, I wish this awful storm would pass," on and on throughout the storm, she would panic. The other boats rolled their eyes and continued their maritime conversations. One old boat creaked as it leaned toward the little one, "one of these days, you're gonna worry yourself straight down to the bottom of the lake!" He winked kindly at her and continued, "These storms aren't bad at all. There's nothing to worry about, and we are right here to talk you through it."
But, the little boat didn't listen, and every time the wind picked up just a little, the boat would start a fearful tirade. "I'm going to sink, I'm going to sink!" She would have such a fit that she would start to rock as if there really was a storm, while all the other boats looked on and wondered why she was doing it. One day, she rocked herself so hard during a slight breeze that the rope which moored her to the dock came undone and she rocked herself right out into the middle of the lake. "See where I am? See where the storm has taken me? I'm surely going to sink!" and sink she did. Right down to the bottom of the lake she went, bubbling frantically all the way, while up above on the surface of the water, the sun was shining and the water was calm.
When her fisherman found her missing, he asked the old boat if he knew anything about it, and the old boat nodded sadly motoring the fisherman out to the middle of the lake where the little boat had sunk herself. After much trouble and effort on the part of the fisherman and some of the other boats, the little one was lifted out of the lake and brought up to the shore for repair. The fisherman was glad to have her back, but he clucked at her disapprovingly. The old boat, however, floated quietly beside her on the dock and understood, because once, when he was young, something similar had happened to him. "I learned to ask myself a long time ago, whether the storm was rocking the boat, or the boat was rocking the boat. The day I sunk myself, out there in the very same spot you went down, was the day old Bessie over there at the end of the dock caught the biggest fish in the lake. The sun was shining and the fish were waiting for us, but I was too worried about what I thought was a storm to enjoy it, and ended up spending the rest of that record fish-catching week at the bottom of the lake." The little boat sniffled a little while the wind picked up. "So tell me little one, what did YOU see down there?"
The little boat's eyes lit up with laughter, "There was a HUGE fish, with big spots that just stared at me, and then..." and as a storm began to brew, the little boat began to tell her fish tale to the old boat, unaware of the wind and the rain.

(Rolling My Eyes)

2007-01-14T17:05:00.000-08:00

“We need to look at what options we have available to constrain the president,” said Democratic Sen. Barack Obama.
...how about a muzzle and a leash?
“We liberated that country from a tyrant,” Bush said. “I think the Iraqi people owe the American people a huge debt of gratitude.”
...whatever happened to modest humility? Or was that humiliation, I can't remember...
“I’m not going to try to be popular and change principles..."

2007-01-02T17:31:00.000-08:00

Yusuf Islam (aka Cat Stevens) - Heaven/Where True Love Goes

This is such a fabulous comeback! Go Yusuf!

The Best Christmas Present Ever!

2006-12-20T15:11:00.000-08:00

I just received a package in the mail from my kids' stepmom that really just made my day! She had sent me two CDs full of pics of my beautiful children (It's really hard to say "children" as I look at how they've grown in the last two years!) I am simply in awe of how wonderfully handsome/beautiful they've become. Georgia is so photogenic and so lovely, and Jess looks like a young version of Matt Damon (whadayathink?). Colin looks so grown up in his fatigues--he's in ROTC and has high hopes for the Marines despite his missing lung.
I have stains all over my sweats from boohooing!
Anyway, let me shutup and show a few:

Thank you, Shirley! You'll never know what it means for me.

Question of the Day

2006-12-17T12:08:00.000-08:00

I am currently studying to get my ESL certification and I have a question that I know my future students are going to ask me. It is a question that has stumped a majority of Americans for ages.(Frankly, I'VE been wondering about the answer as well). I will give you a gold star if you can give me an answer.
Why do we say we "put on our shoes and socks", when we actually put our socks on first?

2006-11-28T21:45:00.000-08:00

HAHAHAHAhahahahahaaaa!

It's over!

But I did it!

I DID IT!!!

Write Me, Baby

2006-10-24T21:17:00.000-07:00

I figure that there is no time like the present to do this thing. I'm ready, got ideas going through my head, and will probably drive everyone nuts with this in the next month or so. I've actually challenged a couple of people.
I would really like to know if Lady of Grace will rise to my challenge, because I really would like to see her use this time as a jump start...(since I never HEAR from her anymore)...
This is also an open dare for anyone who comes to this site regularly, (and I know who you are...heh, heh, heh). 50,000 words isn't much when you consider all that you've ever written all put together! I've probably written about 50,000,000 words, but just never paid attention to the count. This will be an interesting project for me. I would like to see if I can accomplish it, and perhaps learn a little about myself along the way.
Okay, guys, rev up your engines...

Broken

2006-10-14T12:02:00.000-07:00

A fallen bird hops alone on the shore
With broken wing. She will fly no more.

Where once the angels stooped to mend,
They have turned their backs. They will not bend.

Poor thing, set low, seeks a dry abode;
A sheltering rock to lighten her load.

But, which foul deed thus turned the bird?
A devious scheme or an unkept word?

Did she, then, not help a friend in need?
Did she cause a fellow heart to bleed?

Was her journey through the clouds in vain?
Did she only soar for personal gain?

But, no, not of this dread list is found
The thing that brought her to the ground.

Her sin lies not in outward lack,
Nor vanities dressed all in black.

No, she is banished to this sandy shelf,
For lo, she did not love herself.

I'll Take One of Those, and Five of Those...

2006-10-12T12:50:00.000-07:00

I've just now stumbled across the funniest site and wanted to share it with you. It's called "stupid.com" and it has the most hilarious merchandise I've ever seen.

This one is the "Talking Pregnant Trailer Trash Doll". She retails here for about $35 bucks...what a riot.

I liked this one, and am considering getting it for Karim's birthday. It makes monkey noises when it's flying through the air. ($6.99)

By far, the most favored, in my opinion, is the "President George Bush Dog Toy". It squeakes if Fido chews on him. However, I don't think MY dog (if I had one) would want to put THAT in its mouth!

Check out this website. There are some interesting, questionable, and hilarious products over there!

Too Much Fun

2006-10-09T21:54:00.000-07:00

I have been playing with the internet, downloading stuff that will probably make my poor laptop crash completely, but, hey, at least I'm enjoying myself. I've discovered the "Windows beta" stuff and the "Yahoo! widgets" are time consuming...;> I am afraid that I will have to let some things go before I can download anything else!

He's Beautiful

2006-10-04T12:09:00.000-07:00

I have found a new musical obsession: James Blunt
He's a genius. Mmm, mm, mm!

Absence Makes the Heart Grow...Something

2006-09-29T13:50:00.000-07:00

I haven't written anything in a while. Mainly because I've been dealing with some of my own issues here on the homefront that don't merit public opinion. In fact, I've taken up the HANDWRITTEN Journal once again, and I must say, it is actually quite relieving. There's nothing like a real-paper, style-it-as-you-like-it, cross-it-off-and-write-around-it journal to get the thoughts out of the darkest reaches of my mind. Somehow, this whole public, cyber-detailing of my life doesn't pull the creativity, nor the healing out of me the way the "old fashioned" one does, and I have tended to spend more time on the other one than I have here of late. That's where I've been--reminding myself that I have to manually cross my "t"s and that if I write too fast, I get cramps in my forearm. I haven't done that for a long time. My penmanship has really suffered for lack of use...but, I'm enjoying every last letter of it.

A Crabby Moment

2006-09-19T12:34:00.000-07:00

Lately, times have been very trying for Karim and I with all the work stress, world stress, and people-in-general stress. We've been on each other's last nerve--not very pleasant company amongst ourselves.
However, this week we were given a nice break. We had TWO days off together in a row, not just one, which is, in itself a miracle, but TWO DAYS! (We didn't even plan it that way.) Sunday, the first day, we lazed around, cleaned house, studied for a test Karim has to take for his work, and enjoyed the quiet at-home moment. Yesterday, we drove into B-- for some business with Karim's work, which didn't take too long, and on our way back, we stopped at a little restaurant perched alongside the inner marshes of the bay. Karim confided in me that this was his "secret" place, that he likes to come to when he is stressed from work. I loved it. The weather was perfect. It was one of those days that looked like it was supposed to rain pretty hard in our part of the city, but the clouds here came and went with the wind, and the temperature remained cooler than it had been in a while.
We ate lunch in a little patio outside, alone. There were no other customers out there, just a few people inside the building. The food was great, and the scenery was even better. A bit of land jutted out into the water, (...and I don't know what it's called), with a little road, where people could go down to fish.
"I want to go down there," I told Karim. He simply thought I was crazy, and said something about snakes and wildlife hiding out in the tall grass. Okay, so I'd go alone. Which I did when we finished eating. I went down to the road, and Karim went in to play pool with himself.
How beautiful it was, like a dream. I walked down the road, looking at the sunflowers and the butterflies and thoroughly enjoying myself. The road curved around down to the water, and as I began to make the descent, I noticed a million tiny, scurrying bodies, all heading in one direction...away from me. I couldn't make out what they were until I got right on top of them, figuratively speaking. When I realized what they were, I felt so happy and joyful that I was able to witness such a wonderful thing. They were crabs, millions of them, only about an inch tall and wide, and as blue as lapis lazuli. they scuttled into the grass along the muddy, sandy road, except for the few that stood guard to protect the rest. And stand guard they did, one here, one over there, with one huge claw upraised in the fighting position. Wherever I turned, they turned. I had to watch every step I made, as I didn't want to squish such beautiful creatures, and as I walked down this road, the miniature crablings parted like a sea before me. I could hear them clicking on the discarded plastic bottles that some of them scrambled across in their flight. I wished, somehow, that I could grab them all up and take them home, but wasn't quite sure how to deal with the claw, so they stayed at the beach.
I walked down to the water, my shoes getting muddy and damp, and as I came to the waters edge, I found a graveyard full of seashells. I'd never seen shells piled up so high in my life. It was the stuff I dreamed of as a child, but was never quite able to find. Huge shells they were, and so numerous that they created a "tile" floor beneath my feet. I chose as many as my hands could carry, washed them in a wave, and then turned back, gingerly stepping over the guardian crabs on the road as I went.
Now I have, in my head, a picture that I can create for relaxing. I have found my little "secret" place, too, even though Karim would like to say it is his, alone (after all, he found it), but I found the crabs and the shells, and I claim them as a beautiful gift from God. As a result, we had a beautiful "weekend" together, and we can share it always.
I did, after returning to Karim with my armload of shells, drag him down, (through the snakes) to see the crabs. He loved it. One thing we both learned from this moment: In order to see a miracle, sometimes we have to go where we are afraid to go.

The Nectar of Angels

2006-09-11T12:55:00.000-07:00

Ahhh, bliss. The recent purchase of a cheapo espresso machine has plummeted Karim and I into the next level of happiness. To have blended together in one cup, coffee, chocolate, and soy milk, and then to top it with whipped cream is, indeed, the drink of paradise. Coffee, alone, is blessed, but when combined with chocolate becomes divine.

Rembrandt in Java

2006-09-09T10:34:00.000-07:00

Anyone who can do this to coffee (the eau de vie), should be given a solid gold coffee pot. I just bought my little cheapo espresso machine yesterday, and believe me, I'm inspired!

A Change is in Order

2006-09-04T10:17:00.000-07:00

Ah, peace at last. Since our recent "visit", I tried to enable comment moderation, unfortunately, that only works if one is not using Bravenet for one's comment section. Therefore, since a change was really much needed, as I have had this template for a long time now, I changed the template and removed the Bravenet comment thing. I liked the name of this one, "sand dollar". Not that it looks like a sand dollar, more like the mustard you find in junior's diaper, but, hey, baby mustard works for me, and since not too many people go for baby mustard, maybe this will make me unique...more unique than I already am.
Thank you, "smact", for your comment. I did get it before it got deleted. I'm sure you'll hear all about it at work.
I'm still finding it hard to believe that there are those people left in the United States that are completely hard-headed enough to believe stupid stereotypes. Given the nicknames of those I'm referring to, I would assume that they are from the American South. I could spout a few stereotypes about this region of the world myself, which wouldn't be "purty", *ahem*. It's just sad that people who 've never travelled outside of their own little acreage, make up the craziest stuff (that wasn't the word I would have chosen, but I must keep it clean...) about things they don't know and have never seen nor experienced. It's ignorance, but more than that it's complacency. (People like that generally have to use a dictionary to find the bathroom.) I won't give a place for them in my blog.

If this Keeps Up...

2006-09-03T18:19:00.000-07:00

I would like to apologize to my friends and family who come here often to read and/or comment on what I write, as I am now putting up comment moderation. It seems that someone has let the lunatics out of the closet and they have come over to my site to bother me. I refuse to have ignorant people leaving ignorant, uneducated comments on my blog, and now, I will have the choice to delete them. I suppose they have nothing better in their lives to do than to irritate others. Nevertheless, I choose not to have to subject my family and friends (who, by the way, are not Muslim) to such idiocy.
When the time comes, I may move my blog, at which time I will send each of you an e-mail detailing the new site.
Ah, to live quietly, peacefully, not bothering anyone, and not being bothered by anyone...I know its a dream, but I can hope, can't I?

A J** I Used to Like

2006-08-31T22:53:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure exactly what sort of politics are involved in the current issue at our store, but politics there are. I am rather incensed, however, that the fall guys in all the politics happen to be the five remaining employees at my work, who, according to the loss prevention manager are all thieves, myself included. I am confused at this one completely.
About three months or so ago, we had an inventory, but as it was done in a hurry (in one day by very disgusted, fatigued and overworked managers), the results were dreadful, placing us well below par. We were, as a result, put on some sort of "program". That was all well and good, but "they" (I'm not sure who "they" really are, actually) failed to mention that we were not only under intense scrutiny, but were also supposed to be performing (or not performing) certain duties apart from the norm for which we were not informed at all.
Today, our loss prevention guy, whom I once thought was nice, but now, has, indeed, become the top of my *ahem* list, came in, tore into the store like a rotton potato and told us we are all thieves. I wasn't present for all of this, but received a phone call shortly after the guy left by the store's assistant manager, telling me that the coffee pot that I purchased for the store with the "consent" of our area manager, was not really supposed to be purchased, and I had to pay it back to the store. (The area manager also denied telling me that it was possible). Therefore, I have the feeling that I'm at the top of the loss prevention guy's *ahem* list as well.
I don't quite understand why, when we received such a bad inventory count, that "they" didn't order it done over at a date closer than six months later, to verify the count. I will be very angry when the next inventory comes along and the numbers are over (like they were in the inventory before this one).
I am quite angry at this situation, and if it weren't for the fact that quitting would put me in a bad light, I would hand in my keys and apron. (I have a keyboard now and can make twice as much money as an avid piano teacher if I put my mind to it! ) However, I have worked for this company too long to let them push me around this way. There isn't one employee in the store that I would even remotely THINK of as a thief. Not one. I can't believe this is happening, but I think it might have something to do with closing the store and using it as some sort of tax loss thing--of course, they'd have to make up some excuse, and we are simply lowly, hourly, at-will employees with no rights.

With Happiness Comes Sadness

2006-08-30T06:20:00.000-07:00

How very sad, today, I have learned that my favorite author, Naguib Mahfouz, has passed away. Most people in America have never heard of this man, but many of his novels are translated into English and I recommend them highly. The "Cairo Trilogy" is quite an interesting trio of books that will make you both frustrated and sad for the wife of Sayed, and in awe of the fabric of Mahfouz' writing. I only have one book in my possession right at the moment, but I have read it many times, "Ahkenaten: Dweller in Truth". Fabulous historical piece, drawn from much research, and leaving the reader with his own deductions. However, my favorite is "the Harafish" which is a tapestry of different stories all rolled into one that chronicles the "life" of a neighborhood in Cairo through a few generations.
It is sad to think that there will be no more Mahfouz novels created from now on, but there are so many that he has left us, and they are treasures indeed.

My Survival Weapon

2006-08-29T20:30:00.000-07:00

I am whole again.

In Response to a Bigmouth

2006-08-24T23:18:00.000-07:00

I'm stepping out of "Just Thinkin'" for a moment and adopting more of a "Finding Islam" sort of stance. This is a response to something that the one person who has ever made a nasty comment on this blog has tried to say to me. I didn't go to his video link, as there is no need for me to see anything of the kind. I am under the impression that this commentator is trying to get me to believe that my husband would turn on me and beat me should I ever choose to remove my hijab. Poppycock!
"Commentator" should not make such judgments on my husband, since he does not know him at all.
I do not agree with beatings, but I am not such a simpleton to believe that beatings for such things do not happen. I have seen people beaten for various reasons in the Middle East by Muslim and non-Muslim alike, but more often, I have seen people beaten for NO reason in my own country. Take a look at the plight of the abused child. How many domestic abuse shelters are there in America for women who flee from their abusive husbands?
A woman that chooses to wear hijab does so with the knowledge that it is a lifelong commitment. It is not only a sign of respect for Allah/God, but it is also a way to protect a woman's self-respect and to keep men from ogling her in a DISrespectiful manner. I fail to see the difference between a Muslim woman who wears hijab and a Jewish woman who covers her hair when she's out. What about the Christian woman who covers her hair in church as a sign of respect to God...or nuns? So, if I cover my hair, but call myself a Muslim, I'm setting myself for a beating, is that what my commentator is trying to say? I know for a fact, that SHOULD I choose to take off my hijab in public, astaghfirAllah al Azeem, my husband would neither beat me nor divorce me. He would be upset with me, yes, but he would understand my reasoning, as it would be sound reasoning based upon my own personal safety, I am most certain. We have discussed this issue at length, he and I, and if my life were ever to be in danger (I live in hostile, Muslim-hating America), I might possibly remove it. However, I doubt that will ever happen.
Most Muslim women are very proud, as I am, to wear hijab, and wouldn't dream of removing it. Why should we conform to a society that preys on loose morals and scantily garbed females? Why should we subject ourselves to the leers of men who think that women were simply created for their sexual pleasure? Why should we give in to this simplistic, materially carnal way of thinking only to find ourselves in the end old, used, and out of the grace of God? I would rather do what I feel God wants me to do, with full knowledge of WHY I'm doing it, than to make God unhappy with me. After all, it isn't necessarily for my husband that I do it. If "commentator" knew Karim, he would know that I had to "fight" to WEAR the hijab, as Karim wasn't too keen on the idea in the first place. He is much happier about it now, and is quite pleased that I'm growing in my spirituality enough to wear it. However, in the beginning it was quite a different story.
I do not wish to cause a debate here, because this site was not set up for it, (and I have been known to enable comment moderation to keep myself sufficiently introverted as I am extremely sensitive to negative comments, obviously). I am simply stating why Muslim women CHOOSE to wear hijab. Yes, we are required to wear it, as MOST scholars will agree, according to Qur'an. However, many women do NOT believe that the Qur'an says that the hair itself must be covered. Others believe EVERYTHING should be covered. This is what the Qur'an says: "O Prophet! Tell thy wives and daughters, and the believing women, that they should cast their outer garments over their persons (when abroad): that is most convenient, that they should be known (as such) and not molested. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." Al-Azhab 59. According to 1 Corinthians chapter 11, starting at verse 4 and continuing on, a woman is considered shameful if she prays without covering her head. (The argument that the "new testament supercedes the old testament law" does nothing here, as Cor. is in the new testament...AFTER Christ!)
I didn't read anything at all at "commentators" site, except to return a comment that his negativity is not welcome on my blog, as I'm not in the habit of going over to people's blogs that have nothing to do with me, unless it is something I agree with. Therefore, I do not know what "commentator's" religious preference, (or non-preference) is. However, isn't it strange that one can feel that this is a "free" country and yet not let other people be free to worship God the way they choose? (I don't want to hear the same ole "yeah, but, Islam is evil and violent", because ISLAM isn't evil and violent. Evil and violent PEOPLE are evil and violent...please see the t-shirt that says, "guns don't kill people, people kill people.")

The World on a Whole New Level

2006-08-14T21:43:00.000-07:00

I'm not quite sure how I feel about the whole "world issue" right now. There's so much going on that it's sort of hard to pinpoint any one emotion, ninety-five percent of which are negative. I read the news tonight and had to shake my head. Between the Middle East conflicts (of which there are several), and the UK terror arrests, there are also more piddly little things that may not mean much to most people, but when you look at it from the "whole Muslim picture" as I like to put it, you wind up with a different photograph altogether. Take for instance the men in two different states that have been arrested for buying too many cell phones. The FBI states today that there are no terror plots involved as far as they can tell. Does this mean that all young Arab-American men are going to be busted if they purchase too much of one item? And who determines how much is too much? Arabs are obsessed with cell phones because they are a highly social people. It is a huge money-making business for them. Did anyone notice how the media "happened to mention" that the boys were Lebanese-Americans? Duh!
So, then, how about the plane that had an emergency landing because there was a "suspicious item" on board that didn't have an owner. The article I read didn't say what it was. I am sure that the "item" in question was so inane that the airline was too embarrassed to pass along that info. They called in the "bomb dogs" to sniff it out. Whatever it was, (maybe someone's catheter bag), it wasn't explosive, unless you count the peals of laughter coming from behind my computer.
The world situation has gotten out of hand. It was almost okay until a certain world leader got hold of it, and now its unbearably crazed, paranoid, and homicidal. I would like to think that that certain world leader will soon be replaced by a much wiser and less "explosive" one. One that doesn't coin stupid phrases that inflame large groups of people that would normally be willing to help his cause. One who tells his people the truth about what he is doing rather than inventing fairy tales and myths. One that when one of his people wants to ask a question about one of his policies, he has the good graces to answer that question rather than pretend like his people don't exist. One that doesn't spit into the wind.
The world is a mess. When the whole Lebanon/Israel thing started, Karim said only one thing. He didn't get flustered and start cussing the Israelis. He didn't point fingers (like I do) at the US govt. He didn't side with Hezbollah. He looked very sad and tired when he said, "The world is boiling".

My Hunny-Bunny

2006-08-13T18:31:00.000-07:00

Karim4
Originally uploaded by karimanddenise.

I love this photo of Karim. It shows how he wrinkles up his brow when he is thinking, sort of like winding up for the pitch, you know?

Higabi Coffee

2006-08-13T18:29:00.000-07:00

Denise1
Originally uploaded by karimanddenise.

I'm finally getting used to the higab, and must wear it for photos. I don't usually wear it around the house unless Karim has the windows wide open. You will note that I am doing the one thing that decides whether or not I can survive the day...making coffee!

Unrealistic Expectations

2006-08-10T14:40:00.000-07:00

I was reading this article just now at Islam Online, which is one of my favorite places to go for Islamic stuff. But this one really sort of irritated me. It speaks about the people of the Middle East calling for a boycott of American products. Firstly, many of the young people in the ME are addicted to their McDonald's, Coke, Pepsi and various other American export items, especially in countries that are pretty westernized (i.e. Egypt). I don't think those particular countries are going to get too involved in a boycott that might disrupt their "normal" way of living and socializing. Secondly, a boycott on American products in the Muslim world means that many Muslims in America will also be hurt by their hot-headedness as many of the exports are made by Muslim companies, and/or Muslim employees of non-Muslim companies. Take Denmark, for instance. Many Muslim businesses were hurt severely by the boycott after the Prophet Mohamed cartoon issue, for the same reason. Many Danish products exported to the ME are done so by Muslim companies.
I agree that this is a more "peaceful" way to get your point across--much better than plotting to dessimate 10 airplanes midflight over the Atlantic simultaneously--but there are still better ways which would be more effective than trying to pull the spoiled elite out of the Burger joint. Simply put, a boycott of Mickey D's sounds good, but those mobile-phone junkies who WILL roll their eyes while they take another bite of their Big Mac will simply make the whole thing INeffective. I wish I could say I knew what the solution is, but I don't know, and since I don't know, it is best to support peaceful objection in a way that doesn't promote hatred of any race or culture. I am, after all, a spoiled American, who likes BK (McDs would be blaspemy now that Karim manages a BK).
Also, it doesn't do American Muslims any favors by boldly letting the American public see that Muslims outside of America are "haters of America". They don't understand that those of us here are here because we like the country. This is one of the reasons why we are harassed (I was harassed today at work, as a matter of fact), and pinpointed by hate groups and the media. (Which, to me are one and the same).
If Muslims the world over would just rely on Allah (God) the way we are supposed to according to the Holy Qur'an, we wouldn't be in half the messes we are in right now.

Real Deal?

2006-08-10T05:12:00.000-07:00

Okay, so let me get this straight. They're calling the recent "bomb threat" that they've just stopped "the real deal". Does that mean all the others that they so publicly "thwarted" over the last couple years weren't?

A Cool Test...Who Would You Be Most Like?

2006-08-04T15:52:00.000-07:00

Hee, hee...and I just watched the movie day before yesterday!

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

My Happy List...It's Time to Get Happy

2006-07-29T06:06:00.000-07:00

I learned a couple things in my journey through this world. I thought I'd share them...(disclaimer: this is DENISE'S journey. Not all people agree with everything.)

1. God is everything.

2. It's good not to "sweat the small stuff", as long as you remember that the small stuff is also important and will require your attention at some point.

3. Don't sweat the large stuff.

4. Smile at people. They may not see one from anyone else all day.

5. Laugh at least once a day. More if possible.

6. If you hear a bird singing, praise God.

7. Watch the kid movies. Even if you don't have kids with you.

8. Books are our friends.

9. Peace starts in each individual heart. Until we all feel the peace, it will never happen.

10. A person is only as good as his actions. If it were left to words, nothing would ever get done.

11. Listen to the babies when they laugh. It comes from their toes and bubbles through their bodies before it comes out of their mouths.

12. Life without coffee would be meaningless.

Jerks in Uniform, Pasadena Police on the Rampage

2006-07-27T19:56:00.000-07:00

I was not going to reveal the name of the town in which we are living, but due to circumstances, I must say something that needs to be said, whether any one is listening or not.
We live in Pasadena, Texas. It is one of those cities that borders Houston on the east side, and it sucks on an average basis. Lately it has begun to suck even worse. Let me explain.
Karim bought another car. He bought a '98 Mercedes S320 (or something like that). Black. It hasn't even got its license plates on it yet, and he has gotten two tickets already in the last two days. Yesterday he was pulled over for "failing to stop at a stop sign". The woman that he sold his old Mercedes to was in the car with him and they were on their way to her husband's store where it was parked. She was a witness to the fact that he stopped. Today, we were on our way back from Baytown where we had been helping the same lady with the car, and we had pulled onto a street from a freeway feeder road and drove happily onward for about a half mile when we were pulled over by a motorcycle cop. His excuse? Karim turned left from a straight lane. He claims that we were not in the left turn lane on the feeder road when we turned left. YES WE WERE, and I was witness to that. However, to make matters worse, I asked the policeman if the reason Karim is getting so many tickets is because it's the end of the month and the quota has to be filled. The officer didn't hear me. He didn't hear me three times, until I had to raise my voice. When he finally understood what I was asking, he got irate and said, "I was only going to give him a warning, but now I'm going to give him a ticket." Balderdash. He wanted to give him a ticket when he pulled himself out of the "barbecue" parking lot and followed us a mile down the road.
I haven't quite figured it out yet, but I have the suspicion that the officer was "not hearing" me so that I would raise my voice at him and so that he could use that against us in court (as if I were being belligerent). I also think that because it's a black Mercedes S320, it is targeted as a "money machine". I have further toyed with the thought that the second ticket is a result of the first ticket. When the first officer found out that Karim is an Arab with a Mercedes in Stinkydena--er, Pasadena--(which often means "drug car", but for an Arab probably gets profiled as "al-Qaida sympathizer)--word got around. I have the feeling this will not be the end of the tickets.
At any rate, Karim is getting himself a lawyer. He also has an outstanding ticket from a couple months ago with the old Mercedes where he ran a red light that he didn't run. He delayed the court on that and pleaded Not Guilty.

2006-07-27T11:21:00.000-07:00

Lebanon

I don't know who this child is, but, he pretty well sums it up..."We just want Peace!" Who can say anything more.

New Profile Picture

2006-07-23T08:36:00.000-07:00

I just KNOW you all were waiting for my profile picture to change. Anyhow, a big thank you to Jolva, a friend of mine at work, who took some pictures the other day when our manager, (the best manager we've had), left for another job. So, I chopped this one down, thinking, for now, it's a good (but weird) likeness of myself. If you liked the little girl with flowers better, let me know.

Hey, Quayle...

2006-07-21T20:11:00.000-07:00

Well...NOW I'm going to go out and get the CD! Mellencamp is my favorite of the day.

Dad, Johnny and Me

2006-07-18T10:53:00.000-07:00

Dad, Johnny and Me
Originally uploaded by karimanddenise.

I tried to add this photo to my post, but there seem to be ongoing blogger issues with posting photos. This is my father, my brother and myself.

Changing a Cycle

2006-07-18T10:25:00.000-07:00

I am a Muslim convert. My father is a non-believer of pretty much anything. My father's father was a dedicated member of the Ku Klux Klan. I never met him. He died back in the fifties long before I was born, and I really don't know what my Dad thought of him because my Dad is very closed-mouthed when it comes to family history. Sad, but true. Which indicates to me that there were issues. I don't know if those issues had to do with the KKK, or if they had to do with members of the family forcing "religion" at him. (Christianity, of course, as that is my family's background.) I do know that as long as I've known my father, he has had certain issues with race, not because he necessarily believes it, but, rather, he mimics what he learned as a young man. He was taught that "blacks (I will NEVER use the word that I've substituted) are thieves, Mexicans (again, sub-word) are sneaky...etc." (you get the point). So, he carries on in his speech what was drilled in his head. I also know that in his own strange little way, he has fought against these things by what he has learned on his own about people. He has also had the largely unexpected thrust at him in later years as he has sat back and witnessed his "sugar Buger" (me) marry a dark Arab and become a Muslim. (Actually becoming Muslim came before marrying Karim). He really likes my husband, and I have not heard him saying bad things about the Arabs since he has met him. As gentle and beautiful as my father is, he must have learned THOSE graces from somewhere besides his mother, who died when he was eight-years old. I suppose, then, in many ways, there were good things, redeeming things, about my grandfather, and it is really very unfortunate that he never ventured outside of his small box of racism to see what the world and its people were like. I know that if things stayed the same after death, granddad would be flipping cartwheels in his coffin right about now over my conversion to Islam, but they don't stay the same. Now, Grandfather is aware of it all, and I am sure he regrets his hatred. I am more than positive that he has knowledge of the truth of God, and that all races are related to that truth.
It's interesting that I didn't pick up on it. But, I think that in itself is proof of God's love and power. Even as a child I chastised my father for his racial slurs, and corrected them. It wasn't political correctness, as children don't understand the concept of politics and what is "socially acceptable". It was love. It still is. I always will be.

Slight Change

2006-07-17T11:34:00.000-07:00

I have changed slightly the way my name appears on comments and posts. Karim's name, in most instances, automatically pinpoints my comments as "a threat" because of it's being a Muslim name. I am going simply by Denise now. Besides, I'm the only one who writes here and on my other sites.

Under New Management...Our Complex in Peril

2006-07-11T10:00:00.000-07:00

Due to the seasonal rains here in S. Texas, we have become rather damp of late. Unfortunately, so has our apartment complex. When Karim and I settled on this complex back in July of last year it was because of the sparkling pool right in front of our door, the cute red awnings that gave it a "classy" look, the impeccable landscaping and the quiet tranquility. Rules had been previously set in place to keep the complex in this condition which we accepted without issue. However, in the last three or four months, the complex, which has changed hands, has "improved" the property by physically depreciating the value of it. We watched as the maintenance people took down the awnings that attracted us in the beginning and changed the siding, which not only did not need changing, but was replaced by something that looked exactly like the old siding. They tore out the latticework that shielded the upper balconies from the public eye, and now we are subject to viewing everyone else's junk. The pool, another issue of its own, was, up till yesterday, growing green stuff. We could see nothing but algae...and PEOPLE WERE STILL SWIMMING IN IT!!! The pool is supposed to close and get locked by the "responsible person" (who is an officer) at ten o' clock. People have been yelling and screaming from the pool until past midnight! We have observed people climbing over the fence to get to the pool when it is closed and locked.
Children are being allowed to ride their bicycles in the mudcaked lawns and then drag that mud all over the sidewalks, where, if you don't watch your step you may slip and fall. They also stand outside apartments other than their own and scream at each other. There are no available parking spaces left, and those who have purchased a parking place for private use, are finding that they must tow a car daily to ensure this space. The heavy "boom-boom" of sub-woofers is heard throughout the day coming from cars that don't even belong to people living in the complex.
Before all of this started, back in March, we resigned our lease for a year. Now we regret our decision and would love to move, but will find difficulty if we choose to break our lease. I am more than ready to leave this place. With the exception of space on the inside, the outside is almost like we are back at the seedy motel again.

2006-06-30T20:38:00.000-07:00

Peace Train by Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens)

Before Islam, I adored Cat Stevens. Now, he is an inspiration. What an incredible message this song has had since it was written decades ago. It is our dream...

A Tower of Babble

2006-06-20T12:29:00.000-07:00

As today is the first of TWO-DAYS-OFF-IN-A-ROW (!!!), I am quite contentedly doing the laundry and playing solitaire on my computer while I ignore all of my other household chores. I am sure that soon, I will get off my big derriere and start cleaning, but for now, I am perfectly happy doing almost nothing. I would have had tomorrow off with Karim, but because of the "rainday" we had yesterday, Karim was not able to make it in to work, (Much of Houston was too flooded to go anywhere far from home), therefore, he has to make up for it by going to work tomorrow. It's the job of a soon-to-be-manager, however, to be available whenever needed, so, I will just have to adapt. I'm certain I can find something to do...research Islamic issues, shop, sleep, etc.

The New Girl from H***

2006-06-17T10:02:00.000-07:00

There is a new girl at my work who seems to be in constant competition with me, and right at the moment she is trying to get me fired. She is very sweet in my face and claims that she was raised in an Islamic school even though she is Christian. However, one day, we had to go shopping for our store and she wouldn't even walk with me. She didn't want to be associated with me because I wear higab.
Today, I have to explain myself to my manager and the loss prevention guy from the corporate office because this lovely young woman has told them that I made a huge mistake with the money. Fortunately, for me, I have a witness that knows that I did not make a mistake on the night in question. However, there IS money missing from our store and it started when this girl came. I don't know if she is stealing, but she doesn't count well, and I have had to go over her counts and paperwork several times. She doesn't listen to me, even though I'm supposed be helping in her training. She does not consider me to be authority. She also does not listen to the manager or the assistant manager, and does whatever she pleases. She won't lift a finger to do anything in the store that might require cleaning although it is in her job description, and I have personally witnessed her reading the job description! This makes more work for everyone else in the store, and I really feel bad for those working with her when I'm not there.
Please pray for me. I really don't want to be fired for this girl, and especially not for stealing!! The store would be making a huge mistake in firing the wrong person.

Have it Your Way

2006-06-09T21:47:00.000-07:00

I have tried to post on this blog a couple of times this week, but there seem to be issues with the server. Therefore, I'm typing as quickly as possible so as to get this out before it goes down again.
Karim had a couple good interviews this week with a BIG NAME fast food company (NOT McDs) for a managerial position. I'm quite pleased with his efforts as it looks probable at this point. Prayers for him would be kindly appreciated as he has been feeling pretty down in the mouth this last two weeks since his "current" lay-off. (His boss couldn't afford to pay him, and so let him go.) I simply believe that it is God's way of clearing the path for bigger and better positions!
I moved the day for donning the Islamic scarf up a couple months as I am more than ready (I was waiting for Karim to be ready, which is not the right reason!). I am now a higabi. You may note that our profile photo is gone and a handful of flowers has taken it's place. The reason is that I don't have a photo with me in higab yet, and until then, flowers will have to do.
That's the major news. The minor news is that school is out for a couple months and I'm back at Anna's full time, the heat and humidity in Texas really sucks, and HEY, "ding, dong Zarqawi's dead..." (YIPPEE~! the evil one's death is a move forward, and it means a lot to Muslims who don't practice his form of religion...that's another post altogether!)
Okay...I'm gonna hit the "publish post" button and see what happens. Hopefully flying cattle will not jump out of the computer screen. I am ill-equipped for such a mess.

The Perfect Flower

2006-06-02T11:30:00.000-07:00

Once there was a woman who, frustrated with the daily hum-drum of her life, picked up a basket and went out to pick flowers. Already emotionally separated from her clan, she felt alone and without purpose. Knowing the healing properties of the flowers of the wild, she set out in search of the perfect flower, the one that would give her new life. She walked along a path that wound through a forest, out into a field of grass replete with colorful petals. The air was sweet as she wandered, urging her forward until she was quite far from home. Although she saw many beautiful flowers along the way, there was none so perfect as the one she spied at the edge of the grass. There, growing in a soft spot on the side of a high cliff, was the most beautiful flower she had ever seen, and one, she knew, was also alone. She decided that this was one flower that would never be picked. Once removed from its root, it would wither and die, and in the end, what would be left of its beauty? With the sea far beneath, the woman, desperate to look more closely at this flower, inched toward it on the rocky ledge. The sound of the waves crashing on the rocks surrounded her, but rather than frightening her as she balanced on the edge of the cliff, it comforted her with its whispered shouts, as if gently telling her she was treading on soft soil, for indeed the soil on the edge was very soft, and once she reached toward the flower to stroke its velvety petals, the soil gave way beneath her feet, and with nothing to reach for she began to fall. In an instant, with desperation coursing through her, she let go of her basket of flowers, reached up with her fingers and grasped the root of a tree that had grown out of the side of the cliff, the flowers drifting and blowing in the sea air below her, landed noiselessly on the rocks below. Pain shot through her shoulders as her body was yanked downward, then upward, by the force of the interrupted inertia, and she slammed against the rock wall beside her with such a force that she became temporarily nauseated, but her hold on the tree root was strong, and she pulled herself up just enough to wrap one arm around it.
She knew that no one from her clan was aware of her location, perhaps even oblivious to the fact that she was absent from among them, and she began to despair of never being rescued. “Perhaps it would just be better if I were to let go and drop into the sea. I will die, but I will not suffer at any rate.” She told herself. She wasn’t ready yet to die, however, and continued to clutch the root with all her strength.
“Is anyone there?” She cried out after a long while. She had doubts that her voice could be heard above the roar of the sea. “I’m down here. Someone please help me.”
The sun began its bedtime crawl beneath the horizon, and despite her predicament, the woman gazed at it in wonder. “The world will always go on.” She told herself. Her arms were getting tired, and her head hurt. She wouldn’t be able to hold on much longer.
Just at the moment when she had finally decided that it would be best to relax her hold and let the sea take her, a man’s voice called out from above. “Hold on.” She looked up to see the face of a young man smiling down at her as he threw a rope out over the edge. “Climb up. You aren’t very far down there and it won’t take much to get you back up.” The woman glanced at the rocks below and became instantly terrified of falling. A flower was laying still on a large flat rock, withered and broken, it’s white petals crushed by the spray of the sea. She didn’t want to end like that flower.
“I can’t let go of the root. I’ll fall.” She cried.
“If you don’t let go of the root, you will eventually fall.” The man answered back. “The only way up is if you let go of the tree root and grab on to the rope.”
Nervously, with much pain from her shoulders, the woman reached her loose hand over to the rope and held on tightly. “Wrap it around your wrist,” The man shouted. She did as she was told, and then slowly unwrapped her arm from around the tree root and grabbed the rope. Swinging one foot up, she placed it on top of the tree root as an anchor and stood for a moment. “I have it now.” She jerked the rope to let the man know to pull. As he pulled, she crawled with her feet up the rock wall until she reached the edge. With one hand at a time, she let go of the rope and grasped the steady rocks of the edge, pulling herself up first to her elbows, then her stomach, and then swung her feet up and over the top. She lay on the ledge for a second to catch her breath and thank God for her survival.
“I am glad you were there…” She began, but when she looked around to thank her hero, there was no one, only the breeze blowing the grass. “Hello?” She shouted as she stood and brushed herself off. “Is anyone there?” But, it was evident that she was alone.
Confused, but grateful, she sat down a few feet away from the ledge and gazed toward the sinking sun. Remembering the beautiful flower for which she had fallen, she looked along the ledge for it, but there was nothing. Not a living thing grew on that ledge.
When the sun was gone, leaving only the twilight about her, she stood and readied herself to go back. “No.” She told herself firmly. “I won’t go back to the life before. I can’t. Not now.” She turned herself toward the old sea road and began her journey toward the life that had been reborn on the ledge.

2006-05-29T12:53:00.000-07:00

Happy Memorial Day!!

A Reading Mother's Delight

2006-05-26T20:41:00.000-07:00

I am certain that absent mothers think differently than mothers who have the honor of being with their children on a daily basis, and I will give you a long-winded example.
I received my first issues of "Reader's Digest" today. I love "Reader's Digest", and it's not because I'm old. I spent most of my young life, from the time I was about seven years old until I was in college, reading it religiously. That was back when the contents were still on the outside of the magazine. I laughed heartily at the jokes and always thought it would be nice to send one in, but never had any good material. (I'm sure I could come up with something now.) I was the first one to retrieve it from the mailbox, most of the time, and before anyone else could read it, I had already completed the "word power" vocabulary quiz, (the main reason most people can't understand what I say). The poetry and "quotable quotes" were great, and I enjoyed the fictional stories, as well. I wasn't much into the whole political thing as a kid, so I passed up the articles on politics in my haste to get to the "good part". The good part was the "true life" drama that was packed into the last few pages of the magazine and usually talked about some catastrophe that someone had survived to write about.
I was pleased to see all these things still in my new issue. All that and more. It's still a great family magazine, and although it doesn't cost what it used to, is worth every penny.
The reason, however, that this new subscription to "Reader's Digest" is so special to me, is because I bought it from Colin, my son. He was selling it for a school fund raiser, and he e-mailed me to see if I would like to order a magazine. That was a no brainer. I hurriedly sent him the check and when he got it, he took it to school with the few other orders that he got, (not many in the teeny town he lives in up in the Northwest). Receiving it in the mail today was like getting a card from my son. Because he thought of me enough to ask; because he didn't just lose my check, or forget to give it to the school; because he is my son, I will read each issue with a whole different outlook. You see, this is the one child that puts reading above all else, and this is the one thing he and I have in common. I taught him to read, and now, he is turning around and encouraging me, even though it is in an indirect, subconscious way. My kids are such a blessing. If only they knew how every little thing they do affects me.
So, now, I'm going to wipe my eyes and get off this blasted computer. I have a "word power" to complete before Karim gets home.

Devil Child

2006-05-24T15:30:00.000-07:00

There are just some days with some children that make me wonder what the heck I was thinking becoming a sub. Today, it was a fifth grade class of evil that made me want to puke. One girl, in particular, has a bright future ahead of her...in juvi. This 11 year old started off with attitude issues which only got worse with each passing minute. If I reprimanded her for anything, she would not let me talk, and kept giving me a smart mouth. I guess she expected me to just let it slide, and give her a good report with her teacher. A neighboring teacher said, "She's such a smart girl and gets straight As in everything, but her problem is her attitude." Yeah. But, smart is as smart does and I just don't see it in her. I had to end up giving her a referral at which point she said, "I'm not going to do the work then." Whatever. Stupid parents. Supposedly they've come to a point where they don't know what to do with her. Well, let me clue you in...Parents, if you start good, you'll finish well. If you ignore them in the beginning, they will continue to walk all over you and try to do it to the rest of the world, and when they finally land in prison, you wonder "What did I do wrong?"
Anyhow, by the end of the day, Little Miss Thang landed herself a gig at the Lost Children's school. (Not because I gave her a referral, but rather, I suspect, because she mouthed off to the wrong person.) I have this class tomorrow. I won't miss her.

Mubarak the Magnoon

2006-05-23T19:14:00.000-07:00

Egypt is going through some rather "interesting" changes, not all of them good. President Mubarak has become a tad egotistical, and I'm afraid he's feeling a bit out of control. He doesn't seem to like the idea of a democracy and his senility is showing.
I'm not really sure what sounds crazier, the idea that "Most of what they are writing could be punished according to the law, because it is libel and blasphemy," or him saying, " Mubarak, and no one else, has allowed their entrance into the parliament as the biggest opposition block, although he could have prohibited them if he wanted." Perhaps the most insane thing is his statement, "We are on the right path." Imprisoning your opponents and instituting an emergency law where bearded men are subject to random interrogation does not look like the right path. That's it, he's too old to lead the country and should find a nice shady place to sit down and knit booties.

Coffee, Coffee, Coffee...

2006-05-22T19:37:00.000-07:00

I always knew it. So did you.

You Are an Espresso

At your best, you are: straight shooting, ambitious, and energetic

At your worst, you are: anxious and high strung

You drink coffee when: anytime you're not sleeping

Your caffeine addiction level: high

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

Move Over, Martha...MOM

2006-05-14T08:13:00.000-07:00

MY mom never needed to grow the cotton to make the clothes that needed to be mended when we ripped them. She went to JC Penneys.
MY mom didn't go to culinary arts school to learn how to make a Sacher Torte. But she could make a great batch of cookies.
MY mom didn't paint the walls of our home Robin's Egg blue. But, she did have the glossy latex white that could be wiped down when we spilled stuff all over it.
MY mom didn't have to make a graph of the layout of our house just to move the couch, but she did make US move the furniture when it was time to vacuum.
MY mom didn't have a chart on where and how to place the towels in the linen closet, or a diagram on how to fold them. But, she did have a nice set of mismatched tattered linens that looked colorful stacked at the bottom of the hall closet where we kids threw them.
MY mom's curtains didn't always match with her sofa.
MY mom's carpet didn't get changed in twenty years.
MY mom's organizational efforts were thwarted at every turn by two rough and tumble kids.
MY mom didn't have time to make sure everything in the house was perfectly ordered, cleaned, pressed and put up. She was tidy, but not overly so. She took the time to deal with our issues when they came up. She could grow a hug out of nothing and pass it on so that everyone in the room came up smiling. She knew that love was more important than stain removal. Whatever needed to be "cleaned up" would all come out in the wash. Memories were the most important part of my mother's journey as a MOM, and she created some of the most wonderful memories. She grew them in her garden, She cooked them on her stove, She stitched them on her machine, and she arranged them in her home.
God bless you, Mom. I love you!
(MY mom is the one with her tongue stuck out. The other is my blessed Aunt Jackie. Picture courtesy of Ladyofgrace.)

What Happened to Egypt?

2006-05-12T20:25:00.000-07:00

Egypt's youth seem to have become more "westernized" of late. I don't think over-westernization is a good thing as many of the young people are starting to lose their morals. When morals are forgotten, many bad things begin to happen in a country. I hope they realize the impact this over-westernization is going to have on the future of Egypt as crime rates, (including sex crimes), will rise. As lovely Muslim women begin to throw off the cover, they will also allow themselves to become the fodder of wolves, men who have for so long been denied beautiful, easy women. What a shame.

The Class from...

2006-05-11T04:27:00.000-07:00

This week has been a strangely stressful one, and hopefully, once it is over, it won't repeat itself. Between my own emotional issues going on, (Mother's Day, etc.) and my two jobs, I had to deal with an extremely difficult class yesterday that made me start to reconsider substitute teaching altogether. There wasn't one period all day that was controllable, and in the last class of the day, I had one student hauled out by the assistant principle for calling me an expletive that has put me into shock until now. Awful children. (Nay, not children...demonic imps.)
One bright spot was on Sunday, which was Karim's and my third anniversary. We went out to dinner when I got off work, two hours early, and then went to Kemah and enjoyed ourselves immensely.
On Monday, I went out with my friend and was able to wear the Muslim headcover for a day to see what it will be like when I put it on permanently in August. I liked it a lot, and think it will be wonderful.
From there on, it's been a black blur.
Hopefully things will improve over the next couple of days, and I will try to post a nice Mother's Day message. If I don't, you will know that I've been eaten by the devil spawn at the junior high school.

A Whiny Mother's Day Post

2006-05-06T20:54:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day depresses me now. I used to look forward to acknowledging my Mom for her role in my upbringing, even though she really wasn't in it after I was twelve. Still, she was my mother and I love her very much and after this post, sometime soon I will make a positive Mother's Day Post. Today's depressive gripe is that my own children will forget me again this year. They have another "mom" now that they look up to, which is absolutely wonderful, and I don't wish to take away the blessings she will get from my kids, but just once I wish my kids would just say, "Happy Mother's Day" to me. It isn't that they don't love me, because I know they do. I think my reasoning comes from the guilt I feel at having left them, and knowing that perhaps I simply don't deserve it. I would love for my kids to tell me that even though I'm not a daily physical presence in their lives, they forgive me and that I'm okay as a mom. It's as if they have forgotten that I did not only give birth to them, but I was also a strong educational force in their early upbringing and that I loved them with a deep affection. I know why they have forgotten, and I won't discuss it here. I just pray that someday they will remember that I am their mother.

Crying Out From Here

2006-05-03T18:18:00.000-07:00

I posted this link on my other website. I'm very serious that it should be seen. Click here.

Well, Bush Never Had My Vote, Anyway...

2006-04-29T21:51:00.000-07:00

I am completely befuddled that the Spanish National Anthem has become such a controversy. This nation was founded on immigrants and there are people here now from every nation in the world. It shouldn't be a consideration as to whether or not Spanish speaking people can have a Spanish language version of "The Star Spangled Banner", after all, there are Spanish language Bibles and in my city, everything comes in two languages. The critics gripe that the words have been altered. Well, duh! Every language has a different way of expressing the same thought, translatable in various ways. At least they aren't talking about how BAD America is, and siding with the terrorists! Come on! One radio host mentioned the fact that this is no way to get the people that have broken our laws to gain our forgiveness. Hey, not ALL immigrants in this country are illegal, buddy. Some of them worked pretty darn hard to get that green card, and I'll have you know that the most patriotic people you will ever meet in America are immigrants. My immigrant husband, who is not Hispanic, but IS legal, is more patriotic even than I, and I consider myself to be patriotic to America (the way it should be).
In my opinion, every culture in America should be able to record the National Anthem in their language without the President coming out and criticizing them for it. I would LOVE to hear the ARABIC "Star Spangled Banner". Wouldn't that one create a few waves. The whole controversy is all just a bunch of political Bull.

Gas Alternative

2006-04-27T18:59:00.000-07:00

Karim and I were just discussing this dreadful gas catastrophe, and I was letting him know that the Exxon Mobil company may feel a slight crunch on Monday when many customers do not buy gas from them. I agree with this thinking on behalf of the consumer, however, since Karim is working currently at a Mobil station, I did let him know that he might get a little nap in on that day. We were also laughing at our government's attempts at "fixing" the situation by MAYBE excusing the gas tax for a few months or POSSIBLY giving the taxpayers a one hundred dollar rebate. One hundred dollars would fill both our gas tanks only once right now! Make it a thousand and it might be worth something!
Therefore, we have decided that a camel would be the best mode of transportation in the Houston metro area. They have a strong transmission and a big engine, which suits both of our jobs as we both travel at least 20 miles one way to work every day. They store large amounts of water in their bodies and don't need to "fill up" quite as often as the other models (i.e. horses, donkeys). We could simply park them in front of a big pile of grass when we aren't driving them, and they don't take a long time to warm up, like Karim's Mercedes does in the morning. The horn would never stop working. One flick of the stirrup thingy and all the other commuters on the freeway would hear a sharp, loud, "HRRRROOOWWWNNNNGGGGKKKK". As for air conditioning, well, that's a given. No windows. And we could wear the Arab headgear, a la Lawrence of Arabia, to shield us from the heat of the sun.
Let the rich people have their cars, and their gasoline. Let them do away with the middle class if they want. It would be my impoverished pleasure to pass up the latest BMW Compressor on the freeway with Daw'ud the Dapper Dromedary. "HRROWNK, HRROWNK!"

On the Boardwalk

2006-04-24T10:23:00.000-07:00

There is nothing so throughly sublime as standing on a boardwalk in front of the Gulf of Mexico, watching as the sun, in it's last hurrah of the day sprays the clouds, the waves and the distant ships with amber light. Yesterday, Karim and I went to Kemah to spend the afternoon together. It's been a long time since we'd had an outing due to our enormous mounds of work and conflicting schedules. We walked hand in hand, smiling at the children as they discovered the rides in the amusement park. We sat on a bench or two observing how low the pelicans fly over the water to ease their landing on the dock. We laughed at the seagulls bickering with one another over pieces of bread a group of small children was throwing out to them. Each moment that passed was a treasure of discovery, love, and completeness. Nothing soothes the soul like the sea.

Photo by Kemah.Net

Ana Ta'abana Awie

2006-04-22T21:12:00.001-07:00

Tired, tired, tired. Look, a pillow. But, lo, it is merely a mirage in the heat of the desert sun. I think I shall sleep now.
Sorry there's not a decent post here today. The natives at Anna's were extremely restless today. It's a good thing I'm opening the store tomorrow as I left it a mess tonight.
Nighty-night.

The Future of America Lies with America's Emotionally Disturbed Children

2006-04-19T15:40:00.000-07:00

As if I didn't already know that America's children are "needy", I had to go and agree to administer a TAKS test to a group of nine emotionally challenged kids today. (These are not the mentally disadvantaged kids, mind you, there is a large difference!) These kids are the ones whose only real challenge in life is the fact that no one has disciplined them, given them proper medication for whatever emotional disturbance has possessed them, or given them enough attention, thereby forcing these poor kids to find attention in other ways. What they really need is a nice paddle applied to the anterior region. Better yet, let me do it to the parents. They are the ones who need the discipline the most. You may call me overly critical, but I've seen too many kids messed up by their homelives, and in the end, we, as teachers, get blamed for society's "problem children" because we were bad babysitters. That hurts, but what is worse than that is that we only have them 7 hours a day. What are the parents doing with them in the other 17? Nothing. That's the problem. Nothing.

Easter Stuff

2006-04-17T09:34:00.000-07:00

How was everyone's Easter? We had barbecued meat and chicken with our friends, but didn't really "celebrate" the day. We just got together. Any holiday is a good excuse to barbecue. Tell me what you did.

My New Site

2006-04-15T11:03:00.000-07:00

My new site may or may not be interesting enough for those of you who come to this place. However, it's more of my own journey, which seems to be pressing on me now more than ever. I will be using that site for all of my Muslim talk, rather than putting it on this one. My main reason for starting it up is so that I have a place to go to record my trials and victories on my way to wearing the Islamic women's head covering, or higab. I have set my goal for August 28 of this year to give myself time to adjust to the mindset and prepare those that might need to know. (I laugh nervously because my kids don't even know I'm Muslim now.)
Anyhow, check it out now and again to monitor my progress and see if I can do it.

Passage to America

2006-04-14T15:43:00.000-07:00

This is how Muslims are treated in America, the land of the free and the home of the brave? The woman in this interview was singled out because of her Higab (head cover). There is a Federal Investigation being brought forth into this matter, which is quite obviously one of racial profiling. What an awful thing to have happen to a devout woman who has probably never stripped in front of anyone except her husband. Disallowing her from wearing her higab, or doing her prayers is a violation of her religious freedom in this country that was founded on religious freedom.
America has become so obsessed with it's Islamophobia that Karim and I have to answer stupid questions every day..."are you afraid of pig blood?"; "Don't you think it's blasphemous not to believe in Jesus as the son of God?"; "Isn't that the same religion as Saddam Hussein?"; and my favorite of all favorites (for those who are frightened of my religion, this proves their ignorance!) "What God do you worship?" To the first question, the answer is "no!" No, no, duh! (I might get mad if you dump pig blood on me and then go take a shower, but I'm not scared of pigs or their blood. It's a matter of cleanliness. Ask the Jews and several other Christian sects because they don't eat pork, either.) How can I believe that I am a heretic for not worshiping Jesus as the son of God if I don't believe that he was the son of God? (ummmmmm....) As far as Mr. Saddam, the name of the religion is the same, the actions are quite different. Yes, I do put my head on the floor when I pray, but I don't chain people to a wall and beat them. I don't order the killing of other people, and I don't want to bomb America or any other country. Neither does my husband. And the God I worship? Same as their's, unless they only worship themselves. We call him Allah, (which means, literally, the God). He is the same God as the Christians and the Jews; the God of Abraham (Ibrahim in Arabic), Isaac, and Jacob (yakoub), YES, and even Jesus (Isa, the prophet, who was born of the virgin mary, or Maryam). We believe in the judgement day, and we believe that Sheitan (Satan) and his Jin (demons) are prowling about trying to undermine the word of God. We are admonished to respect other religions and their Holy Books (the Holy Bible and the Torah). The name Islam means peace.
I know that most of my readers do not fall into the category of ignoramus maximi, and I hope you understand that I am venting. Being a Muslim in America is not easy, and the future looks grim. We are singled out and persecuted for our beliefs, counteracting the aim of our Forefathers. We are the brunt of jokes and satire. We are stereotyped, and many believe that we are all terrorists.
I feel for this poor woman, because her plight is my plight. Her pain could at any moment be mine. Her humiliation is not only my humiliation for her because I, too, am Muslim, but also my shame at being an American. Unless you are in my shoes, you will never know.

Jumpy Gets Married and Moves Out

2006-04-10T15:44:00.000-07:00

This afternoon, as I was preparing to "repair" my pitifully dried out potted palm by taking the scissors to the dead fronds, I noticed JJ sitting quietly on the stalk just rolling his feelers around as if he were thinking, so I decided to let him ponder on whatever it is nervous spiders ponder on, and picked up my crossword book to wait until he went elsewhere. As I lifted my pen to start jotting down an answer, I saw another spider circling the rim of the pot. I realized that JJ on the stalk was a little too small to be JJ, and that the one circling the rim must be he. Oh, happy day! JJ took a Mrs. I was pleased for him, but I still had to repair that blasted plant, so I put down my puzzle and grabbed the scissors. Apologizing profusely to my spider friends, and explaining that since they were in the plant now, I would be moving them outside where they belonged, I began to snip the largest dead frond (replete with scale) at the base near the live stalk. As I did so, a couple very small, but very anxious spiders popped out. Not only has JJ married his sweetie, Hoppy Harriet, the two of them seem to have created a passal of bouncing baby spiders. The entire family, evidently, has taken up residence in the center of the live part of the plant where they are sheltered from the daily workings of our household.
Once I finished trimming their apartment, I lifted the plant very carefully, hoping that they would remain inside of it until I got it out to the patio. "Sorry guys," I said, "you really should be out here." I set them down on a little white hand-me-down table we were given by a neighbor, and which we use for plants and coffee cups on the patio, and watched as JJ emerged from the soil and started circling the rim once again, happy with his new surroundings. I went into the kitchen, filled a big bowl with water and brought it back out to the palm, but not before checking to make sure there were no spiders hanging out in the soil. I certainly didn't want to drown JJ's family.
I was happy for JJ, perhaps a little sad that he had to go outside, but I think they will all be happier there.

Keekee Comes to Visit

2006-04-08T10:58:00.000-07:00

While Karim was busy puttering about the kitchen making himself a cup of Turkish Coffee (American coffee is too weak for REAL men!), I sat on the sofa looking at my dying palm plant and wondering when the apartment maintenance people would be coming around to paint our building so that I could put the poor thing back out on the patio. JJ was there (Jumpy Joe, the jumping spider, for those who have just tuned in) hopping from one frond to another. You could almost see him crouching, swinging his arms, and calculating the jump before he pounced to the next one. He jumped up about six fronds before he leapt all the way down to the one on which he started and then bounced over to the shoot growing in the middle of the plant, (the one with the dying fringe poking out the top like a dried corn stalk). He would sit there for a few minutes and then start the whole process over again.
As I sat there watching him, a furry shadow slithered quickly in front of the fencing surrounding our patio. "Kitty!" I exclaimed, and Karim and I both tore out the door to call the kitty over to us. This kitty is a "neighborhood" kitty, who, I don't think, belongs to a particular person, rather, she is simply the community cat, and I think the children in the complex find her more of a playtoy than an animal. She is very skittish around children as I found out when I went outside with a piece of cheese to feed her. She is very friendly with me, but when the children ran past us giggling at each other and playing, she disappeared from the top of the stone bench we were sitting on and hid beneath my feet as if she were saying, "save me from those vile creatures". I picked her back up and shielded her while she started to eat, but as soon as I scratched her behind the ear, she stopped eating so that I would pet her. She is more starved for attention than she is for food, poor thing. She wouldn't go back to the cheese, so I thought maybe she would like to come inside for a bit. (I had some old leftover shrimp in the fridge and decided she might like that better.)
So, in we went, and while I was preparing her shrimp, she was exploring the house. I could see that she was the "nosy" type that, if given half a chance as a house cat, would be on the counters in an instant if food were left out for any length of time. She came back to the kitchen at a fast trot when I put down the shrimp and a bowl of water. She licked at the shrimp, but was more interested in me. She just wanted my attention. "Keekee, you're so skinny. You need to eat something," I told her. She started sniffing around the water and then drank as if she'd not had anything wet in a long time.
After this, we just let her wander around and explore things, so that she could see that nothing was a threat. Then she wandered back out to the porch, sniffed around there for a bit, jumped up onto the fencing and then went off to chase birds.
I suppose she will be back, referring, of course, to the old addage, "feed a cat and it will return", which never bothered me at all. In fact, it never bothered my father, who is a professed cat hater. But, he fed the neighborhood cats for years, buying bags and bags of cat food for cats that never once set foot inside his house, until one by one they were killed off by the 18 wheel logging trucks that zoom by his neighborhood frequently. After the last one disappeared, he stopped buying cat food, and now, very few cats ever put a paw to his patio.
I, on the other hand, love cats, and will continue my anti-feline father's example by making sure they have a good meal if they need it. Even if it means enticing them into my home to keep them from being mauled by the village imps.

A Moment with Jumpy Joe

2006-04-04T20:51:00.000-07:00

Tonight as I was sitting on the sofa working on some school stuff, I noticed a movement on the hem of my t-shirt. Normally, those movements that I see out of the corner of my eye mean only one thing, a spider, and can send me into a spasmodic dance of terror, where various and sundry household items find themselves upturned on the floor. However, this time, even though it was a spider, I did not do the "hootchie-coo", as I previously thought, but instead froze for a moment while my heart temporarily stopped, and I did something I have rarely ever done with a spider in my life before. I relaxed. It was Jumpy Joe come a-callin', and it was as if he were sending me the telepathic message that he would not bite me if I just let him pass. So, I watched him hop gleefully across my lap, onto the book I was working on, back onto my lap, and then onto the sofa. I am sure he must have bounced his way up my leg as I had rested my foot on the coffee table. (You may recall that I had mentioned in a previous post that he lives in an "undertable crevice" somewhere on the other side of the coffee table.) I had finally been too absorbed in my work to notice that he'd come to visit me, and this time he took advantage of the situation not only to get my attention, but also to make physical contact. I admire him for that. Most spiders are just as afraid of us as we are of them. Not JJ! He is as sociable a spider as I've ever met.
I'm also quite proud of myself. I have learned with Jumpy to relax and to understand that neither of us wishes to harm the other. From this day forward, I will not be afraid of Jumpy Joe on my coffee table again, and even though I won't touch "other" spiders, (I'm a one spider woman now), I may even let him crawl up into my lap and read my book again.

A Movie Worth Watching

2006-04-03T20:03:00.000-07:00

As promised, here is the "something better" that I said I'd write later. I just finished watching a fabulous movie that I would love to share. If you are in the need of a good, "heartfelt", kleenex box picture, then run down to blockbuster and rent "The Legend of 1900". This one is worth it!
In this 1920s backdrop fairy tale, 1900, as he is named by a crew member who found him on top of the ship's piano, has lived his entire life without ever setting foot on land. He is a piano player, having found his talent early on, and is befriended by a jazz trumpet player, who is also the narrator of the story. The narrator, Max, tries to convince him to leave the ship, but 1900 feeling that he has his own place in this life, chooses to stay. I will not give out the ending, as you really must watch it, yourself. I will only warn you that a box of tissue would be in order, and don't even think about the popcorn (you'll only choke on it!) I will, however, tell you that my favorite scene in this movie is in the ballroom when Max and 1900 first meet. Max is grotesquely seasick and can hardly stand up when he wanders into the foyer of the ballroom, puking into a vase. 1900 invites him to enter and learn to gain his sea legs. He strolls easily to the piano and sits down, while Max, staggering drunkenly, follows and grasps the edge of the instrument as if it were a life raft. Instructing Max to let the brakes off the beautiful Grand Piano, he begins playing. As he and the piano begin to move in perfect synchronicity about the ballroom, he tells Max to hop on. Together, they move around the ballroom as if they are dancing with the piano while 1900 plays. Although it seems a silly idea, it really touches me.
Once you see this movie, give me a little "yank" in my comment section and let me know what you think! I cried. Did you?

A World Without Freedom

2006-04-03T04:32:00.000-07:00

Even as I strive to find "good", positive things to write about, every once in a while, I read, or am witness to something that simply must be spoken about. Read this article about Stalinism in Russia. It's pretty scary. I was saddened by this poor woman's words, and realized at the same time, that in this modern age, where we, here in America, take for granted our "freedoms", there are still places in the world where freedom doesn't exist at all. The cases of the young men in question in this article are appallingly horrible, and are probably simply the tip of the iceberg.
I'm sorry this is so awful. I will post something better later.

Lizzy and Jumpy Joe: Who Needs a Cat or a Dog?

2006-03-31T20:12:00.000-08:00

After a rather stressful week in which I gave up any and all chances for a day off for another two weeks, we had another lock-down in the school over the immigration issue, and Karim was laid-off *again* by a dishonest employer and rehired by another company, my heart leapt at the chance for joy when I heard Karim stutter the words, "There's a lizard on the porch!" Naturally, I dove off the couch and outside for a look, and lo, darting off the concrete and into the grass for a better shot at hopping onto the wooden railing surrounding our porch, was Lizzie. She'd gotten a tad bigger and her tail was twice as big as her body. When she first popped into the grass, she was a chocolate brown color, but after getting up on the railing, which is stark white, she started to turn a bright lime green, thinking, of course, that we wouldn't see her as we looked down at her with the backdrop of green grass. I missed Lizzie through the winter, figuring that she must have gone into hiding with Hurricane Rita's approach, and stayed wherever lizards stay when they hibernate. She's back now, and was on and off the porch and the railing all afternoon. I stood out and watched her for a while, but then I had to go to Anna's for the start of my weekend.
We've been having another visitor in our home for the last three weeks or so who lives in a cavity on the underside of our coffee table. I have named him "Jumpy Joe" the jumping spider. If we are sitting on the sofa, he crawls out of his lonely hiding place, traverses the entire circumference of the rim of the table, and stops right in front of us. He simply jumps around in a one centimeter circle, like a happy puppy, as if he's trying to converse with us. This morning, I bent down to get a close look at him, with my feet on the couch, because, although I think he's a pretty cool spider, I would do the "there's-a-spider-on-me-get-it-off" dance if he were to jump my direction. I started saying a few words to him, much to my husband's dismay (he already thinks I'm magnoona--crazy), and he seemed to stop bouncing around while I spoke. After the conversation was over, he simply turned, crossed the table, jumped onto the largest of our three ceramic pyramids, climbed over it, like a little child in the park, and then disappeared back into the table.
I wonder if the apartment management would charge us a deposit if they knew we had THESE pets? I don't think I'll tell them.

The Buck Passes On

2006-03-25T11:03:00.000-08:00

I saw Buck Owens from my Dad's shoulders in a car lot in Pomona, California when I was about five years old. I was surrounded by adults, and being only as high as my Dad's belly button, found this a barrier to visibility. When my father lifted me up and set me on his neck, I could see the stage, all dressed up in Red, white and blue, and in the midst of that stage, the "Hee Haw" guy, Buck Owens, was pickin' on his guitar and singing, "Bakersfield".
He will be missed.

Pieces of Light

2006-03-23T15:20:00.000-08:00

The last couple days in class have been very trying as far as discipline goes. I am almost exclusively subbing for the Junior High School in my district, which, although many subs refuse to put themselves through the harrowing day that a Junior High Class can be, I seem to find an almost pleasurable torture in accepting these jobs and fulfilling "THE PLAN".
Yesterday's class was an utter abomination. It was as if the kids were making me pay for every substitute that had ever tortured them. Today, there was only one class period that was like that, and the rest were, though not golden, great kids. Both of the classes were English, one was seventh grade, the other eighth.
I am getting the reputation among the students as a "nice" sub, and many of the students not only stop and "discuss life" with me, but I also get the occasional hug. Perhaps it's because I often (but not always) "let them get away with" certain things that I feel are silly details. In a day when we are worried about drugs and guns in school, I don't give them a referral for detention or suspension for gum-chewing. I'm sorry. That's just, plain stupidity! I DO, however, remind them that the school policy is "yadda, yadda, yadda" and that once they exit the classroom, they are to remember that not everyone is as lenient as I am. It is important to note, also, that in return for these "freedoms", I require my students to do as I ask. Although many still push the envelope beyond belief, most comply. This is not to say that I don't have my bad days, because I do. Sometimes they are completely useless days that create a desire in me to throw up my hands and crawl home to my nice, comfy bed. For the most part, though, I really enjoy this age group. I think I've gone completely insane.
What makes it all worthwhile for me are those moments when I can recognize a glimmer in an eye, even if it's just one eye in the classroom, of something more than impishness. When I see that glint of "AHA!"; that sparkle of understanding from a student, then I know that I have just witnessed a life-change. Every piece of knowledge that a kid gets changes them in some way, and when we allow them to understand good, positive things, they are changed for the better. Seeing that "AHA!" in them means that this little piece of "light" they've just been given, will never be forgotten.

Nothing Ever Stays the Same

2006-03-17T20:53:00.000-08:00

Lately, I've been reflecting on how far Karim and I have come in the past year, and I'm completely astounded. Having read a few posts that I made a while back, I can't help but wonder if I would have been so whiney if I could have understood the idea that "This, too, shall pass!" I was, however, impressed that I survived it at all. However, as the saying goes, "hindsight is always 20/20".
When we started out here, we were "bunking" with Karim's uncle on the other side of our rather large metropolitan phenomenon, wondering where we would be working. Within two weeks we were moving into a "hotel" that was willing to allow us to take up residence on site while Karim worked as a night auditor. Although it was an awful job with an evil task-master at the helm, we weathered it. After a few months of that "hotel", we were transferred to a "motel" just off the freeway, further east where we had to endure the foulness of drug dealers, prostitutes and the same evil presence that presided over the last one. During this time, however, we were able to save enough to buy our first car, Mable, the Sable, after which I was able to work and got a job at Anna's. My job enabled us after a few more months to make the much anticipated move into an apartment, however small, and to remove ourselves from the filth of long-term motel life. It is my intention in life never, ever, (I swear on everything!) to live in such a place again. We moved into our apartment in August, and since then have acquired the Mercedes, Karim's 1986 190 series baby. (It needs a little spit and polish, but then it will be worth something.) In November, Karim gave his two weeks to the King of all Fleabags, and went to work for a rather large Hotel chain with a beautiful reputation. However, they let him go, for, in my opinion, racist reasons (his co-workers were "uncomfortable" with him) right after the Prophet Mohamed Cartoon incident. But, he took a job in another place, working with people from his own country the very next day. In January, I became a certified substitute teacher (with an evil laugh) on the weekdays, while still working Anna's on the weekends, and have finally, this month been given the promotion I was promised in August. (We just have to adjust the thinking on pay.) We traded in Mable the sickly Sable for a Newer Ford Taurus wagon, which, although it has a couple of issues of its own which aren't serious, gets me to and from work every day wonderfully. (I have yet to name it, but I'm leaning toward "Horace the Taurus"--or should I keep with the Egyptian theme and go with "Horus the Taurus"?)
The only reason we are moving "upward" is because Allah has seen fit to allow it. It has nothing to do with us, and nothing to do with luck. Had God chosen, we would have remained in the motel, twitching and bitching, for the rest of our days. However, He has heard our cries and given us tiny wings with which to move through our lives. I am so thankful that, even though we do live on a fairly modest income, we are able to pay our living expenses and go out to eat once in a while. I am able, finally, to dress my home in a personal way, rather than "make do" with what exists. Karim does not have to "jump-to" whenever the phone rings, hoping it isn't the "boss" calling him to work a double. Both of us may be stressed from our occupations, but the stress is nothing like it once was.
So, from point A, "immigrants" just off the boat with, literally, $100 to our name, to point B, living independently, owning two vehicles and working three jobs between us, we have clearly improved. It's nice to be able, once again, to walk into a store and buy something simply because I want it (within reason, of course).
SubhanAllah! Praise God!

Still Here

2006-03-16T15:52:00.000-08:00

I haven't disappeared, really. I've been so busy between school and having had Spring Break, working at Anna's, that I haven't even had time to stop and think. I'm completely sleep deprived as we speak. Therefore, I'm gonna keep it short and go take a nap...now! Night night!

Simply

2006-03-08T10:20:00.000-08:00

If it weren't for those "simple pleasures" that I seek every day, I'd be a complete basket-weaving insane person. With two jobs, I'm finding that the stress levels in my daily life are rising to new heights, and I am forced to find "new" ways to combat it. This week I am on Spring Break from my school district and have opted for working the entire week at Anna's. I had forgotten how much stress Anna's can be, as I've only been working on the weekends for the last month and a half. I'm also aware of the stress that switching from one job to the next week after week can cause. It's almost like being two different people at once. I'm afraid that one day I will pick up a ringing classroom phone and say, "Anna's Linens. This is Denise. How may I help you?"
Therefore, I have chosen rather consciously (by forced effort) to find pleasures in my everyday life. I am off work today, which is why I actually have the time to write about it, and I am enjoying it immensely. Today's pleasure is a group of teeny-weeny little purple flowers that I espied surrounding an electrical box in the grass on my way to the laundry facility this morning. The box is a big, ugly, green metal square sitting on the corner near our apartment that, although it has it's practical uses, sticks out like a sore thumb. As I looked down at these flowers, my first glance was, "oh, pretty!" However, as I took a second look on my way back to the apartment from the laundrette, I saw that not only were they purple, but they had beautiful yellow centers to them. As tiny as they are, they are shaped much like a snapdragon and the yellow, fuzzy part is the "throat". What a marvel of God's natural beauty it was for me, and to think that they were growing around the most ugly thing as if to say, "we are here to surround you with beauty."
Simple pleasures are just that...simple. An American friend of mine in Egypt once remarked that her "simple pleasure" was when the sheet landed perfectly on the bed when she flipped it. I laughed, but it's true. That would make me feel good, too.
I would love to hear what "little" things make other stressed-out people happy. Would you let me know your simple pleasures?

Ongoing Sub Prattle

2006-02-28T18:58:00.000-08:00

I had a good day at the High School subbing for Spanish class today, although it is rather like chewing old cardboard to have to watch the first 45 minutes of "ET the Extra Terrestrial" in Spanish for the sixth time in as many hours. ("E-T telophono mi casa"). I think the kids had a tough time with it also as it was a Spanish I class. They know words like "yo soy" and "donde esta" but not enough Spanish to piece together the conversations of the movie. It was, however, nice to have a lesson plan in place, "Just plug it in and go". I wish all the classes were as easy! Tomorrow I have the Jr. High again, which I enjoy even when they give me a hard time. (Just say a prayer for me that I can get them to do their work without much pushing...bless their medium sized little hearts.)
Getting a job on this system is like pulling teeth. ALL the subs are on at once waiting for a "job" to pop up on the website, and when it does, they, like circling vultures, suck it clean off the bone without even landing for breath. I guess I just don't click fast enough...*squawk*...I was lucky enough to get the Jr. High job doing Social Studies for tomorrow. There were jobs on the site when I first entered it that stayed there for hours. I didn't want to take them because right at the moment, I'm simply too tired mentally and physically. They were "Special Services", and "Behavioral Adjustment" classes at the High School level, and the other one was a 6th grade class at the Lost Children's school. (Not it's real name.) Although I feel for the lost children, I just couldn't do it. Karim has also forbidden me to take any jobs at that school as it tends to render me useless by the end of the day.
There you have it. Denise's ongoing twittering about whatever flies from her fingers first. One of these days I might actually come up with a subject that isn't completely dull and nonsensical and stun you all.
Peace be with you.

Irreplaceable...Don Knotts

2006-02-25T16:44:00.000-08:00

Just a minute ago, I read that Don Knotts, one of the world's greatest comedians has died at the age of 81. I had a couple of questions to ask myself as I read this. Firstly, how did Mr. Knotts get to be 81? Just the other day, I saw a clip from an episode of The Andy Griffith Show, and he wasn't very old in it. (That's the beauty of movies and television. They never grow old!) Secondly, isn't someone like Don Knotts supposed to live forever?
He was one of my favorite actors, a comfortable sort, like comfort food, everybody's friend. I watched The Andy Griffith Show religiously as a child, even though by the time I came around they were all reruns. I watched it, not for "Opie", or "Andy" or "Aunt Bea", but for "Barney Fife". Good ole Barney. Another favorite of mine was "The Apple Dumpling Gang", (costarring Tim Conway) a Disney Movie about a couple of bumbling swindlers who wind up taking care of some orphaned kids in the old west.
The answer to my second question is "yes". Mr. Knotts will, indeed, live forever, young and bright, for generations to see. Every time an episode of "Andy Griffith" runs on television, or videos of any of the wonderful movies he made are shown to little children, he will be remembered by those who grew up with him, and cherished by those who meet him for the first time in up and coming generations.
Don Knotts, may you make the angels smile!

How Young Will the Next Generation OD?

2006-02-23T14:41:00.000-08:00

I came home with a burdened heart from subbing in a Jr. High School today. Even though my classes were angelic (for 7th and 8th graders), we had a problem in the last half of the day which, I am sure, will cause many issues to arise. One of the students overdosed on drugs today. In a Junior High school, that would make that student no more than 12 or 13 years old. My heart hurts for this child. I would like to say it hurts for this child's parents as well, but I am almost certain that the parents "taught" this poor baby how to do it. How does one take a situation like this? With sadness? Of course. With concern for the other students? Naturally. With anger? HELL YES! Whoever gave or sold this little girl the drugs should be shot on sight and hung from the nearest tree with a sign around his neck that says, "This is what happens to corruptors of Children." Someone that sells drugs to a twelve year old has no remorse...no conscience...no soul...
I ask for prayers from my Muslim Brothers and Sisters and also from my Christian friends and family. God hears those prayers. Pray that this baby can be healed of this problem for good and all, and that God may deal with the guilty ones in His own way. If it were up to me, I'd say "burn, monster, burn", but I know that God has his own way of dealing with them, which may include compassion and mercy. (That's why God is God and not me.) Pray for all the lost children.

The Beauty

2006-02-18T09:36:00.000-08:00

I guess it's time for me to post something positive, albeit controversial for now. I am heavy-hearted over the loss of appreciation for my religion, and I feel the necessity to show a bit of the beauty of Islam. It is very sad to me, as I sit here in tears, to see Muslims the world over (only a small percentage of them, mind you) reversing all the work that's been done to show Islam as the lovely, peaceful religion that it really is. There are so many evil people in any religion, but, unfortunately, the evil ones in Islam are deadly and cruel, and these are the only ones that the American media will show. The media has forgotten about the majority: The ones that love God, that respect all religions, that practice peace.
I found a great website. Islamic Way. There are some pictures here that show the beauty of Islam. I urge you to go to this website and with an open mind, read about that for which we believe. Yes, there are different sects of Islam, but real, TRUE Islam is not the sect that condones or practices violence. I refuse to attempt to convert people to Islam because Islam is a personal choice between a mortal being and God. Therefore, I ask you not to read such things into my words. All I wish to do is to show the doubtful, media-obsessed public that Islam is not evil in its true form. The only evils in Islam are the zealots and those who are afraid of them.
Remember these words: al salaam--the peace. Islam--the peace. That's what it's about.

A Note to the Muslim World from a Muslima

2006-02-17T09:22:00.000-08:00

The drama over the Danish cartoons has gone on long enough. Yes, it was wrong to push the cartoons at us the way they did, but it is not only equally wrong, but decidedly worse when you end up killing people in mobs and riots to prove this point. As a Muslim I am disgusted at the cartoons, which I have chosen not to see in order that I may not contribute to the number of people clicking on the websites to see them. However, as a Muslim, I am also very much disgusted at your behavior. There are ways to deal with this in a peaceful manner.
Here is what the Holy Qur'an says about this matter:
...And of mankind, there are some hypocrites who say: "we believe in Allah and the Last Day", while in fact they believe not. They think to deceive Allah and those who believe, while they only deceive themselves, and perceive it not! In their hearts is a disease of doubt and hypocrisy and Allah has increased their disease. A painful torment is theirs because they used to tell lies. And when it is said to them: "Make not mischief on the earth," they say: "We are only peacemakers." Verily, they are the ones who make mischief, but they perceive it not...Al Baqarah 8-12

Therefore, I say, knock it off!

A Lesson From Johnny

2006-02-15T14:07:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, we as adults simply have to stop and listen to those we are in charge of. They aren't the only students. Sometime we are their students, and if we open our hearts to them, we will learn some of the most profound lessons in life that ever can be learned.
Today was the worst class as far as behavior that I've had this three weeks. In desperation for a position for today, I accepted a sixth grade class (my first sixth grade class, I might add) at a middle school thinking, "how much trouble can they possibly be?" (*twitch, twitch*).
Okay, I understand WHY the teacher had this specific seating arrangement, but I hope she has more luck with the ones she separated (for disciplinary reasons) than I had today. There were five boys that were in five completely separate sections of the room that knew exactly how to work the room into a chaotic frenzy every fifteen minutes. I wrote down names, promised rewards, took away rewards, made half the class put their heads down, pulled some aside to talk with them privately, and made them do extra work. There are just some classes that cannot be managed well except to make sure they don't damage each other or themselves. I had more success in the alternative school with the kids who'd been arrested for gang-banging and drug possession than I did with this class full of sixth graders. (I hope that doesn't make me a bad sub.)
One thing that caused a lot of the problem in the beginning was that the teacher had left her lesson plans with a teacher in the next room, but didn't notify her of the plans. This neighboring teacher and I looked for them, but they were not found until 1:30, thirty minutes before the class left for music and PE, which ended my day with them. Therefore, I had to "wing" it all day. "Winging it" is great for the upper grades when you have one class to teach (i.e. music, science, english...), and you can pull a rabbit from a hat and teach it seven times a day. However, in a contained classroom, where you have to teach all the subjects, "winging it" takes a little more than just effort. It takes a miracle. Needless to say, I made it through the day on a "wing and a prayer". There was one moment when I was waiting for silence and gave a sigh, mainly because I'm still a little under the weather with this flu thing, but really, because the stress of the day was wearing me down. One boy at the back said quietly, "Are you stressed, Miss?" Of course, not to admit it in front of the class, I said, "no, I'm just getting over a cold. I'm fine." (As it stands now, I have no voice.)
The highlight of the day, however, was when one of the quiet students, a boy, wrote me a letter, very silently handed it to me, and sat back down with a shy but understanding smile. This letter made me want to cry, but crying in front of a class of m___s is not allowed. (They eat you alive!) He wrote, (in part) "...on behalf of the class I would like to apoligize (his spelling). I'm sorry you have to see us like this...but I hope you can forgive the people who are doing bad, and even the ones that are good." (Now I can cry, because I'm at home! *sniff*) POW! Right in the kisser!! It knocked me for a loop and I could barely stand there reading it.
Yes, little Johnny, I can forgive. Even though there were moments when I could have thrown in the towel, I knew that you are all blessed children at heart, and knowing that is why I stay a sub, even though there are bad days when not all of you are doing what you should. Sweet child, you will probably never read this, but I am thankful for this note you gave me, and I will keep it forever. Because, to me, it says, "On behalf of ALL the students you will ever teach...forgive."

Valentine's Day is About the Chocolate!!

2006-02-14T15:45:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day!! I haven't got much to say except that I took today off for two reasons--there were no sub jobs available today and I'm sick with some flu. (As long as it has nothing to do with last weeks chicken and macaroni, I'll be fine!) There's nothing that says romance like a little sinus drainage followed by coughing and hocking. ("Kiss me, darling, I'm all puckered up!")
At any rate, I hope you all have a better V-Day than I'm having. Wish me luck in getting a job for tomorrow!

Sorry to Chew this Thing to Death, but...

2006-02-12T08:38:00.000-08:00

Freedom of speech/press is only freedom when it serves a purpose, as I have just discovered. I'm sure this man is wondering why everyone is coming down so hard on his writings when they are defending the Danish Cartoons with such vehemency. If we, as a nation, defend the rights of other nations' to publish what they want, then we need to give this guy a break! At least his novel didn't cause a worldwide uprising!

Denmark drawing

2006-02-10T13:59:00.000-08:00

This is me Karim. I usually don't write on the blog, maybe because I don't have time, but today I need to say some thing about what is going on in Denmark. What they did from couple weeks ago I read in the news that they made many caricatures, pictures for our prophet Mohamed being a terrorist carrying guns and bombs in the pictures. what an awful thing to do for some one or some religion they don't even know any thing about but some shallow information from the media. what did we do as Muslims to the Danish people to be sarcastic from our prophet like this?.
And when we start saying that we are angry from this act they said this is the freedom of speech. Here I would like to clear some thing. Most of the people who practice freedom of speech are ignorant. There is a difference between insulting someone and saying your opinion. For example, we as Muslims never pictured Jesus as a bad person or dumb or a bad guy or any kind of insults , or any other prophet--Moses or Abraham--in fact, we respect them because that is what our religion asked us to do.
Nonetheless, I can't blame some ignorant people for being ignorant. But, I blame them when they start reading about Islam, or at least the Holy Quran, just one page, and then we can talk and blame.

That was FAST!

2006-02-10T13:53:00.000-08:00

I am always amazed at the speed of God's intercession in our lives when he wants to change things. Yesterday Karim was laid off. Today he has a new job. I'm impressed. He is working with people to whom he can speak his native language and that is a wonderful thing, along with the job, which I won't give out details as per his request. I'm just as happy as a clam today for this reason, and because I subbed a music class and got to PLAY THE PIANO!!!!!

Islamophobia Hits Home...My Home

2006-02-09T14:55:00.000-08:00

I have only just now found out that my husband has been "laid off" from his job. The manager that let him go could not give him a straight answer. In one sentence she would say "we're overstaffed". In the next, "your performance". So which is it? She never explained what about his performance in the job was wrong. He'd only been complimented profusely by his supervisor and the clientele that he worked with, so I have come to one conclusion. I have the feeling it has something to do with his nationality and his religion, but, naturally, to avoid conflict the Hotel in question cannot use this as a viable excuse.
I would like to know how many other "at will" Muslim employees out there are being "laid off" right now during the present "conflict"?
I Remember after 9/11, many employees were laid off due to "over-staffage", etc. People were scared silly that the Muslims were going to revolt. (How revolting!) It's happening again, and I doubt President Brainless is going to do anything about it. (My ex got an extension on his unemployment at that time because many people used 9/11 as an excuse to "cut back" as well.) Unfortunately, Karim hasn't even been working at this job long enough to draw unemployment.
Thanks, Bush. I'm already working two jobs, owe taxes and still can't pay the bills.
...and people wonder why I hate Bush so much!!!

Speaking Out Against the Cartoons is Freedom, Too

2006-02-08T17:44:00.000-08:00

This article explains a lot in the way of most Muslim feeling about the cartoon issue.
I told Joe in my last post's comment section that I oppose the violence but understand the viewpoint of it, and I do stand behind what I said. I will be sorely disheartened if the Muslim world continues in this way. This is not what Prophet Mohamed taught, and counteracting an evil with another evil is simply wrong. It is unfortunate that it has taken something as childish as a bunch of thoughtless cartoons to set the world on fire, but those embers were already smoldering in the first place. Wouldn't it be nice, (and I'm not so brainless as to think it possible), if we could just understand one another?
"Allahuakbar" does not mean, "Go and kill the infidel" (as many Americans think it does). It means "God is the Greatest". I believe in this. Allahuakbar! And God does know the hearts of ALL of his people, Christians and Muslims alike. Only Allah knows what it will take to clean up the mess.

The Definition of "Freedom of the Press" is Not Supposed to be "Stupidity"!

2006-02-07T14:53:00.000-08:00

Mr. Abrams, in this article, is suggesting that cartoons are simply "...unrealistic one-dimensional portrayals..." of political or social situations. I agree that caricatures have their place in society, as does freedom of the press, however, as an American Muslim convert I am wondering that no one has mentioned that perhaps a better time to ridicule a religion (that, frankly, the cartoonists know nothing about), is during a time when that religion is not already under fire in the media. The cartoons portray Islam as being something that it is not. I am not a terrorist, thank you very much, nor are Muslims, in general. Prophet Mohamed (pbuh) was actually more peaceful than he is given credit (most people read a biased history, which is written from a Western rather than an Eastern standpoint).
I don't believe in violence, but I am sure that I do not completely blame those who are "losing their cool" over this issue. The Middle East and Muslims (Islam, to be exact) have been abused due to a lack of understanding (terrorists are not true Muslims, they are zealots with weapons). President Bush's conquest of the Middle East which he calls a "war on terrorism" hasn't helped matters at all. Middle Eastern economies are awful. I lived in Egypt on a typical Egyptian's salary, so I've seen the Middle East from the standpoint of the Middle Eastern native. Most feel that their very own governments are oppressive at best, they don't need Europe and North American media beating them down further. They need a leg up, not a push over the edge!

Oh, the Village Idiot is Already in Office!

2006-02-06T16:57:00.000-08:00

I predict that in the next twenty years, our president will be an illiterate drug addict with a lot of money to spend on weapons but no budget for anything else. What do you think? Way to go, Bush.

New Morning Routine

2006-02-04T08:47:00.000-08:00

The days that I work at Anna's (the weekend) seem almost like days off, although they are actually hard work. However, most of the time I'm scheduled in the afternoon on these days so I am able to sleep-in. Sleeping-in counts as a day off, doesn't it? The only time I will have a day off is if there are no subbing jobs available at the school district on any given day, for which I will have no knowledge until the actual day, but I still have to get up early just in case the school calls. During the week, I found that getting out of bed wasn't hard as long as there was coffee (this evokes pictures of Denise hugging the coffee maker and singing "That Old Black Magic"). However, I've never liked getting up early as I am a night owl, as is my husband, who is a chronic late night movie watcher.
Today, of course is an Anna's day, which is why I'm sitting in my PJs and playing on my computer.
I can't really think of much to say, as the "magic" hasn't kicked in yet, and because my feet are cold. (Don't ask me why my feet have anything to do with my thinking process...I guess I'm one of those people who thinks on her feet.) Anyhow, enjoy your Saturday and sleep well.

Heh, he, he...he, he twitch, The Week in Review

2006-02-03T12:19:00.000-08:00

Overall, this week hasn't really been too bad, but it has been a little strange (surreal is more apropos a term), and a bit difficult in spots. Being a new substitute teacher has its ups and downs, as I am finding out, but one of the things I am finding about myself is that the actual classrooms themselves are not my greatest fear. (I really enjoy the classroom). It's the administration and the threat of not being called back if I make a wrong move that has me biting my nails.
Only half of the teachers this week provided me with decent notes on the proposed lesson plans, the other half being vague and incomplete. Unfortunately, I think that most teachers assume that a seasoned sub will be coming to their classroom, unaware that a new sub will not know all the details of a particular class or school yet. The strangest part about this issue is that the ones that didn't leave me decent directions were the ones that spoke to me about their classes face to face. (Twilight Zone theme music inserted here).
My most difficult day was yesterday, when I subbed for an "alternative" school. I guess it would have helped me to know that "alternative" is another name for "disciplinarian". These kids were what I like to refer to as "the lost children"; they were the street kids, gang affiliated kids, kids whose homelives "suck", and kids who need a lot of love and praise. I only had one major altercation with one poor kid who threatened my life, however, I mistakenly lost my temper back at him, told him to "sit his a** down" (!) and was reprimanded. I don't think the principle cared whether or not the kid was going to "bag my a**". Whatever...as they say. At any rate, we all got along well, except that as is the norm with a sub, they didn't really want to do their work. I had one kid that I will call "the Godfather" that was under the mistaken impression that he was the "leader"...hmmmm...I put him down a peg after explaining to him that when he asks to go to the office directly after another person asks to go to the office, I am seeing a "domino effect" to which he replied rather angrily, "are you calling me a follower?" So, I explained in the only way possible: "Yeah!" Later in the day, after he refused to do anything else that I asked, I let him "read" quietly at the back of the room. He was hiding behind a book doing who knows what, so I decided that a slow, indiscreet wander-over wouldn't hurt. What I saw changed my view of street kids forever! He was drawing freehand a picture that he had before him in a children's book, and it was perfect. I told him that it was fabulous, to which he objected and said that he's not good at drawing. I made him look at me and told him, "My mother was an artist, and I know a good artist when I see one!" He sucked it in like rain in a dry desert. These kids really are somebody. They just make bad choices.
Okay, well, this has gone on longer than I expected. I must leave to go to Annas in about ten minutes. Have a great weekend!

Now I Think I Can Do Anything!

2006-01-31T03:54:00.000-08:00

My first day subbing went over with many a hitch, which I believe can only improve with experience. The class that I had chosen as my first class was not what it would have seemed at first glance, and my ignorance of terminology only added fuel to the fire. It was a junior high school class, but the students were learning and behavior disabled children. I didn't realize it until someone told me about it after third period. (I was wondering what was up with my classroom control!) For some of these kids, there is no control. It did help my understanding of the kids much more by knowing their needs, however, and the day progressed better. I found out that when you bribe them with learning, they are eager to learn. For instance, I told one of the classes that if they did their assignment, then in the last ten minutes of class I would teach them how to write each of their names in Arabic. They were thrilled and all of them did their assignments perfectly! Another class was a complete mess, and I am sure that I became the proverbial "sub" for those students, warts, pointy hat and all. They kept looking for my car in the parking lot and I told them I drove my broom to school. (I think some of them believed me!)
At any rate, today I am teaching fourth grade and am employing the assistance of my stuffed monkey Mohamed for classroom control! (He makes a noise when you squeeze his tummy!)

Words, Wurds, Wirds, Wrds

2006-01-27T05:50:00.000-08:00

I've never considered my speaking voice or my "accent" to be especially unique, but according to one of my customers at Anna's the other day, I have a lovely and unusual accent. I told the sweet lady that I was raised in Washington State and that my husband is Egyptian (maybe I pick up on his accent). I suppose that must be true. This reason, combined with my operatic training in College (diction IS a must) probably do change my tone a bit. I know that I use longer words than most people can ingest in one sentence.
This has led me to ponder on the drawl that I have encountered in many of my native Texan customers. I have stated before that Texas is a country all on it's own (it doesn't NEED the US, really), and I believe in all honesty that it has it's own language as well. Let me site a few examples:

1. "Y'all" can be used not only for a group of people but also for an individual. (i.e. "Could y'all pass me the salt?")
2. "Ain't" IS a word.
3. Things are never "on" or "off". They are either "awn" or "awf". ("Turn the lights awn"; "Turn the TV awf")
4. Vowels present a special situation. In most cases they are extended, and sometimes mutated. However, before the letter "r", they are omitted. (i.e. the word "letter" becomes "leeeeyttrr".)
5. Syllables are added to an already existing number of syllables in certain words. For instance, the word "accent" becomes "acceyent". ("Y'all hayave a looowvly acceyent." Translated: "You have a lovely accent".)

This is all for now as my time is limited this morning while I prepare for work. (I am now officially working two jobs, and will probably be posting between shifts.) My point today, in any case, is for "y'all" to think of the way the people around you talk. (Not to make fun of them, even though it's nice to laugh at human nature), but to appreciate the differences.

Catch a Falling Star or It's MY Mess, and I'll Clean it Myself, Thank You

2006-01-21T13:07:00.000-08:00

There are moments in our lives when we feel as though we've failed, and that nothing can ever come of what a mess we've made of ourselves. But, messes can always be cleaned. It just takes a little patience and one sticky pile at a time, we can undo the mess and organize ourselves once again. Today was an organizational day for me. You may recall that I told you last week that I'd "paid a bill" that was hanging over me. Today, I was able to move forward in my life because of paying that bill. For some, my little step forward may not seem like much, but from my standpoint, on top of all the piles that I've made in my life, all my messes, it is a huge leap forward. Today, I became a CERTIFIED substitute teacher.
There was a time that I didn't think I'd ever be able to work any other occupation except retail or food and beverage service,(no offense to those who ENJOY retail or waiting tables...I don't), neither of which require the kind of skills I was trained to perform. I figured that because I quit school that close to getting a degree, (four and a half years in University), I would always fall short of success. Yes, I agree that teaching in Alex was quite successful, but I still held on to that nagging notion that I was not as "good" as the certified, degreed teachers. Because of not having a degree, I have often felt that I am less of a person, and not worthy of certain modes of employment. Karim, on the other hand, has seen my value, and has boosted me up on so many occasions. If it weren't for him, I would never have come to this point. He has seen gold where all I've seen is dust.
So, today, I got my certification to be a substitute teacher in a local school system, and for now that is degree enough. Someday, I WILL finish that degree and become a certified, full-time teacher, because I don't plan to stop until I get there, but until then, I'm satisfied with this piece of my dream, and I can sit back and relax for a moment, enjoying the cleanness of one mess that is not longer vexing me.

"2006", a Novel by Orson Wells?

2006-01-19T21:28:00.000-08:00

Go Google! "Child Protection" my big left buttock! Hmmm...now why in the world would the US gvt. want to subpoena the searches of millions of Americans? Duh!! As if being spotlighted on the eavesdropping issue wasn't enough, Bush has decided that he will not only listen in on private conversations, but will also try to figure out if people are tied to al-Qaida through online searches, and he doesn't seem to care how many constitutional rights he violates or who he pisses off. (I really don't see any need for the FEDS to view the many sites that I've been perusing about how to fold origami cranes.) Oh, but if we type in the words "Osama" or "Laden" we might be investigated as terrorists. What if we just wanted to KNOW something. Maybe that's it. Maybe we are no longer free to LEARN, or to EDUCATE ourselves against a tyrannical dictatorship.
What about the innocent ones? Do you realize that when I first met my husband, his English wasn't as good as it is now, and he would frequently get the words "tourist" and "terrorist" mixed up in conversation. But then, he did the same thing with "chicken" and "kitchen". However, if he had spoken to the wrong person, or had one of Big Brother's Posse listening in on the other end of one of his phone conversations at the right moment when he was talking about working "in the Hotel and Terrorism Industry", he would, at this very moment, be fighting force-feeding tubes at Gitmo!
I am proud to be a Muslim, and I don't care what our Government tries to do to stop Islam. I won't change. They have painted a twisted portrait of my religion to the United States in order to justify an unjustifiable war in which many of our brave, unsuspecting soldiers have been mercilessly murdered, not by Iraqis, but by their own government, and in which many innocent women and children of Iraqi origin have been slain. I have to wonder what a small child does to piss off a "great" leader such as George W?

Slaying Dragons

2006-01-17T18:56:00.000-08:00

My job is becoming a monstrous stress factory. Every day I dread having to make that walk down the long employee entrance hallway into the mall. I suppose it would be difficult for anyone to go to work each day wondering what new insult the management will give to whomever the management feels is "stupid". Employee morale is low, and, I fear, that if management doesn't improve these conditions, the management will find itself without employees. Soon.
I am currently enrolled for a class on Saturday for substitute teaching, after which I will apply at one of the local school districts. I hope all goes well with this, as it will mean an immense change in not only my self-esteem, but also my pocketbook. For my prayerminded readers, this is a prayer request: that all will go well in acquiring my new career. (I can use all the prayer I can get).
I do want to pat myself on the back as I have made some immense leaps in my life of late. I have never been an extremely "responsible" person, or so members of my family might think, and rightly so. I tend to be flighty and impulsive and somewhat of a spendthrift. But, in the last few years I have learned a little about cutting corners (some of them) and about appreciating my flightiness as not necessarily negative, putting it to good use. My biggest challenge has always been the ability to accrue savings, which is still a difficult thing to do. However, because of Karim, and perhaps because I have "grown up" a little in the last four years, I have been able to make savings enough to buy one car, finance another and pay a very old bill that has been a black cloud over my life for fifteen years. One that has stopped me from progressing in my professional life. Paying that bill, (and having the ability to purchase the car, even if it was not an expensive one), has given me the realization that I can achieve even more. Now that the bill is finished, I can move on with my life, which is why I'm trying for the "sub" position. This will get me out of this awful job in retail and will enable me to make more money and pay some other "bills" that are weighing heavily on me.
So, until I am a substitute teacher, I must continue to drag myself to Anna's daily.
Perhaps if I think of each trial as an adventure, it won't be as difficult. Maybe, if I view work as a den of dragons that must be vanquished and the only way to do it is to brandish my sword of silent wisdom, then I can get through each day without feeling miserable. If I could but see every moment through my window of hope, knowing that "this, too, shall pass", each and every tense minute will be a little less tense, every annoying issue will be a little less annoying, and I will live all my life, even during the burdensome times, with a smile.

???

2006-01-14T09:01:00.000-08:00

Vampires running for office...One just has to laugh.

So Much Ignorance...So Little Time

2006-01-13T14:11:00.000-08:00

Read the comments on this article. I find it interesting that there are so many people out there who STILL don't get it. There are comments like "dirty Arabs" (meaning unclean) and "cockroaches", not to mention those who have the idea that all Muslims hate all non-Muslims and intend to eliminate the world of the "infidel". Poppycock!
However, stupid is as stupid says, and so on and so forth. I still say education is the key. If one of these brainless Muslim bashing bigots would simply do a little research, they would find that Muslims are clean, washing before each prayer five times a day, (and in my experience are cleaner than Americans, thank you very much--I should know, I married one) and tolerant of other religions as PRESCRIBED BY the Holy Qur'an. Killing is a sin in Islam. I won't say anything more about that.
For those reading this who might be Islamophobes, get a life, buy a book. It may not change your way of thinking, but it certainly will make you LOOK smarter.

Sacrifice, (or, A Sheep in the Offing)

2006-01-09T19:35:00.000-08:00

Unable to process anything intelligible, I will now attempt to babble about Eid al-Adha, (pronounced, "ay-EED al ADD-hah) the Muslim celebration which begins tomorrow, and in which we are supposed to eat a lot of meat...mainly sheep, from what I understand from my husband. I don't know if this celebration's traditions change according to culture, but in Egypt, they eat sheep. In fact, I've seen cute little animated commercials about Eid al-Adha with fluffy sheep bouncing happily with children on a beautiful green hill. It is ironic to me that those very same fluffy, happy, little sheepies will be slaughtered ruthlessly in the streets, blood puddles everywhere, and baked, broiled, fried, and shish-kebabed for feast day.
However, this Eid is not completely about the sheep. It is about the prophet Abraham and his son Isaac. If you are Christian, Muslim, or Jewish, you know the story about the sacrifice. If not, have patience while I explain. Abraham was the father of Isaac and he loved Isaac more than any other child. One day, God spoke to Abraham and told him to take Isaac up to a mountain and sacrifice Isaac to him. This was, as one might imagine, a very difficult thing to do. (I don't think I could have done it!) Abraham, however, was as faithful to God as one could possibly be--after all, he was a prophet. When the got to the mountain, Abraham built an altar upon which he placed his son. He pulled out his knife ready to slit the boy's throat, as one might slaughter a sheep, when God said, "Stop. I was just testing your faith. Kill the sheep over in the bush instead." There was a ram caught in a bush near them, and they freed the sheep and slaughtered it, offering it up as a sacrifice of thanks for God's goodness.
There is an interesting article at Islam Online which explains the Eid a lot better than I can. Actually, if you do a search about it, you will find many such interesting articles, and you may even learn a thing or two about Muslims.
It is interesting to think about what we might be able to sacrifice for the sake of God. Could I sacrifice one of my beautiful children? I don't know. Could I sacrifice using bad words, and replacing them, instead, with positive affirmations? Probably. Could I sacrifice coffee? Doubt it. It is a question that needs not only to be pondered by each human mind, but acted upon in some way. Even the smallest sacrifices done for the sake of God are given great weight. God honors them all.
At any rate, tomorrow, we will be remembering Abraham and Isaac's sacrifice, pondering our own faith and eating sheep. Eid Mubarak to all.

Out with the Old, In With the "New"

2006-01-07T21:10:00.000-08:00

We finally traded in Mabel the Frankensable. She was just costing so much to repair every payday, that we figured we'd get more for our money if we turned it into a car payment. We decided to go newer, but not necessarily different, and bought a Ford Taurus wagon. (The Sable and the Taurus are twins.) However, our Frankensable was a 1989 model, while our "new" Taurus is a 1998 model. We have truly moved up in the world. (Karim is opting for a Jaguar next time.) "Frankie" (nee Mabel) had cost us more in repairs than her buying price, and was threatening to cost us more. There was a leak in some sort of gasket whatchamajiggy that was forcing us to put water and coolant into the radiator and coolant well every time we went out. As this condition was worsening, the car was overheating on my two block trip to work. Besides the leak, the transmission was threatening to hand-in its apron; someone had stolen the CD player right out of the car in the Wal-Mart parking lot; the dash and upholstery, which had been deplorably care-worn by the previous owner, was getting much worse; the Air conditioner stopped working during the hot months, and now that it is cool outside, the heater has stopped working.
In the end, it was not a tough decision when upon waking this morning, we looked at each other and said, "Let's go look at cars." We stopped by two different car lots. In the first, the man was not helpful and did not seem to know much about the cars he was selling. We were not impressed with the selection. In the second, we found an Arabic speaking Cairot with whom Karim could bargain not only in his own language, but also with his own cultural "strings". We did get a good deal on the Taurus from this man, however, he could not go up on the trade-in price of the Sable due to its despicable condition. We sold her South for $300...exactly what it was going to cost for the gasket thingamajiggy plus labor.
I do not feel guilty. Mabel gave us a few good months of transportation and was a good start for us when we needed her most. However, her old tires were giving out underneath her and she was beginning to resemble an old nag. She will not retire as yet, I think. The mechanics at the car lot will fix up some of her "issues" and raise that three hundred dollar going price. I am sure some young person or needy family will find her to be a good "first car" also, and that she will not end her glory for a while. It's best, though, that she continue her "life journeys" with other people, as we have journeyed with her long enough.

Terrorism from an Anti-terrorist Standpoint

2006-01-04T14:54:00.000-08:00

For those who might have questions as to what "Jihad" actually means, this article may clarify a few things. I have to question a government that forces a wrong belief on an unsuspecting public in order to persecute one group of people, which, by the way, doesn't mean simply "Arabs", but all Muslims in general. In fact, I had read an article about a week ago that young American and British women converts are supposedly the most dangerous of Muslims because we are more zealous than others. Guffaw. I wouldn't know anything about making a bomb. I can't even make a loaf of bread without issues. I'm scared to death of guns and refuse even to touch one. Neither Karim nor myself want one in our home.
According to statistics, 30% of the Muslim population in America are converts. If you figure that half of them are women, that would make 15% of America's Muslims. If there are, as a 2004 poll shows, 7 million Muslims in America, that would mean that there are 1,050,000 dangerous women in the US that could potentially blow up important buildings and kill themselves in crowded places. Right.
I hate the fact that the media plays on our uneducated. Most Americans refuse to do any form of research, and will blindly follow the media like kharouf (sheep), allowing them to breed fear and dissension. Because we allow media lies to continue without reproach, covered women are attacked in the streets and Muslim places of worship are bombed.
If you were to ask me who I think might be a terrorist, I would tell you this: Terrorism is, according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary (online), "the systematic use of terror especially as a means of coercion." Terror, according to the same source is "1 : a state of intense fear. 2 a : one that inspires fear. b : a frightening aspect c : a cause of anxiety (worry) d : an appalling person or thing; especially : BRAT 3 : REIGN OF TERROR 4 : violence (as bombing) committed by groups in order to intimidate a population or government into granting their demands ."
Take a look at numbers 1,2a, and 2c. When put in this perspective, as one who inspires or causes fear or worry, then anyone who might create unjustified fear in a group of people by creating blatant lies which cause the public to come against them is a terrorist. Therefore, my answer to the question of who I think might be a terrorist is...President Bush and the American Media are terrorists.
For those who wish to slap me in the face with number 4 from our definition above, you will note that it does not specify any group in particular. This might be because Most of the violent actions used to coerce a group of people have not necessarily been done by Muslims (or Arabs) throughout the course of History. Hitler wasn't a Muslim, Mussolini wasn't a Muslim, Timothy McVeigh wasn't a Muslim, and the person or group responsible for the Ohio Mosque bombing a couple weeks ago wasn't a Muslim, either. However, US troops are currently coercing a Muslim country to bits because of one man's need to conquer. Who do you think is the terrorist?

2005-12-31T17:44:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!

A Commotion at the Consulate

2005-12-28T19:37:00.000-08:00

I had an enormous laugh this evening when I read this article about reporters being allowed to investigate the American Consulate in Cairo. They were searching for militant Islamists who were rumored to have been in the employ of the Consulate and who, discreetly enough, were also alleged to scandalously keep posters of their evil military heroes on the walls of their cubicles. Before even finishing the first paragraph of the article, I was in stitches, and by the end, in the place where it says that there were two cases of Coptic Christians who were denied Visas on account of their beliefs, I was practically rolling on the floor.
Okay...here it is from my standpoint...the bare truth about Egypt. I'm sure that somewhere, in the deepest, darkest corners of Egypt, (perhaps upper Egypt, where technology has yet to be found), there are extreme militant groups. This is evidenced by the recent bombings that occurred this year in Cairo, by members of some completely backward zealous militant family from somewhere down South, (and I stress the word "militant"). However, most Cairots and Alexandrians are more focused on how to dress properly, where to buy the most updated cell phone, and how to stir the Nescafe/sugar concoction in just the right way as to impose a foam upon it. There is a larger number of Coptics in lower Egypt than there are in most other places in the Middle East, because of the acceptance of their beliefs. I worked side by side with Muslims and Coptics, and a few Egyptian atheists, as well. There were no wars; no battles; no embittered words; and NO discrimination based on religious beliefs. In fact, most of them went out together on the weekends.
I find it difficult to believe that a Coptic would not be granted a visa solely on account of his or her religion for many reasons. Most of those granting visas at that consulate are Americans...born and bred, and transported to Egypt for the purpose of granting visas. The Egyptians who "work the window" giving out permission to travel, etc. are mostly either non-covered and non bearded Muslims, or they are Coptic Christians, one of whom dislikes Egyptians who marry Americans. (We have encountered him on several occasions, as have many of our Egyptian/American coupled friends.)
Karim and I spent much of our time while in Egypt going back and forth between this Consulate in Cairo and the once a month Consulate Service in Alex. The only prejudice we were faced with was the raised taxi fares when the driver figured out that I was "al Amerikeya".

Post-Christmas Issues

2005-12-26T20:33:00.000-08:00

Do people never stop shopping? I had originally thought that today would be a day of returns and exchanges at my work, but, instead, there were lines of people with shopping carts and baskets full to overflowing with STUFF!! What's up with the stuff? We had a great sale today, but after ten hours on the job, I'm welcoming my time at home with open arms.
Christmas was nice. It was quiet. Karim had to work, which didn't bother either of us much, as we are Muslims, and, indeed, someone needs to be in the hotel to run it. My store was closed yesterday, which allowed me a day of resting, sleeping and watching all my Christmas movies...again. We did, however, open gifts to each other on Christmas Eve, which was a nice experience for both of us. Karim's eyes glowed just like a little boy, and it was just as fun for me as it was for him when he ransacked his stocking. (Oh, yes, I made sure we had those up!)
I had a monumental Christmas this year, owing to the fact that I'd missed our American traditions so much for three years. This year I saw it through new eyes, and I know that it will only become more special for me in the years to come.
However, now that it's over, I'm ready to put my apartment back in order (but not until after the New Year), and to replace the poinsettia decorations with bright Spring flowers and scents. It's odd how I can prepare for weeks before Christmas: putting up the tree, shopping, decking the hall, but then, the minute Christmas is over, I'm immediately ready to move on to the next "project".
As for New Years, I hope all of you out there in cyberville will, if you drink, do so in a wise manner, and for pity's sake, don't drive if you must indulge in spirits. May you each have every wish for the New Year granted, and remember that whatever you are doing at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve, is what you will be doing all year long. (I won't tell you MY plan...*evil grin*)

2005-12-25T10:19:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!